I bet you missed me, huh? Don’t lie~

Anyway, Sonic games. Yeah yeah, I know. sonic has been REALLY bad lately. And it hurts me deep… but there are good ones. Lemme show yah what ones.

Starting with a newer game:

Sonic and the Black Knight

No, really. I’m not kidding. The concept for this game was HORRIBLE, but the execution is pretty damn good. Sonic is summoned to the land of King Arthur by a cute loli version of Merlin named (surprise!) Merlina and after some delicious chili dog eating, Sonic gets a magic talking sword named “Caliburn”. The action is fast, and the sword allows you to obliterate most enemies without a care in the world. Now, like Secret Rings, there are a few slowdowns. There are points where you have to give villagers rings and there are large enemies that don’t go down in one hit, but everything else in the game is a pretty damn good time. I don’t really recommend it for someone who doesn’t like Sonic, but it’s worth a try even if  you don’t. (continue reading…)

I gotta be honest, the PSP has a serious lack of good games. HOWEVER, the ones it does have are pretty sweet. Here’s a few:

Dissidia final Fantasy

Remember how I keep saying I hate SquareEnix? Well, they keep giving me shit, then throwing me a bone. This was one hell of a bone. Dissidia isn’t out in America, yet. I’ve been playing it on my custom firmware PSP in Japanese. It took me a while to be able to navigate the menus, but now that I can…

Oh damn am I glad. This is a fighting game with characters from Final Fantasy 1-11. Each game has two characters from each game, a hero and a villain. The battles in Dissidia are NOTHING like previous Final Fantasy games. You take control of your favorite hero/villian and go to town. Jumping, dodging, attacking, magic, summons, you name it, it’s in there. The system for dealing damage is a little interesting and takes a little getting used to, but once you’ve got it down you’ll be a pro in no time. If you ever wanted to beat the ever loving shit out of Sephiroth or Cloud, this game is for you.  What’s even better, is it’s fun, and has AWESOME multiplayer. Get this game when it comes out later this year. Or, get it now if you have custom firmware.
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Remember that thing you used to carry in your pocket?

No, not your wallet! I mean that thing that that played games… You know.

Your Gameboy! Hell yeah you remember that. Well, lemme help you find some games to play on that bad boy.

Pocket Bomberman

This game was an instant classic… for me anyway. It was never terribly popular, but it was good and it was challenging. You play as Bomberman(durr) and you have to climb a tower for some reason… I forget. Anyway, each floor of the tower is a new world, guarded by a different giant bad guy type monster. You get lots of cool power ups for your bombs, and what I really liked about this game is you had to use the bombs to solve puzzles… By jumping on them. Sometimes they’d blow up and kill you, so you either had to be fast or have the power up that makes them detonate on command. This game is totally awesome and definitely worth a try.
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My N64 had the crap used out of it. I played that thing so much, one broke and I used a spare. My 64 got all the love. I had tons of games. I mowed lawns and did chores and everything I could to make money to buy those games. Anyway, let me tell you about a few games that you’d have to be insane to not play.

Rocket: Robot on Wheels

This game was made by the creators of Sly Cooper. I dunno about you, but those games were pretty good.

Naturally, so was this. You play as a young robot set to watch over the new theme park “Wallyworld” while the owner goes to a party, but after he leaves, the costar of the show steals the spotlight,  knocks poor Rocket out cold and steals the mascot. You have to collect tokens, tickets and save the  park by getting upgrades and solving puzzles. This game is amazing and had great controls to boot.
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I’ve had a PC in some sort or another my entire life. I’ve played games on it since I was able to press a button. I thought I would give you a lowdown on what I’ve found to be some of the most amazing, fun and best times I’ve had with my custom made systems, and here they are.

First up: Theme Hospital

This game is hilarious. This game is fun, and this is coming from someone who has never really likes simulation/tycoon games like Theme Hospital… But for some reason, this game opened up to me. You’ve got to build a hospital and treat patients with weird diseases like “The Uncommon Cold” and “Slack Tongue”. Just seeing the people with bizarre conditions walk in is worth your money, but then when you cure them(Or fail to), some of them can be quite entertaining as well. This game is for anyone with a decent sense of humor. 100% awesome, get this game.
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What’s that? More RPGs? Alright, alright… I’ve got more RPGs for yah. Sit back, relax and prepare for some good ones!

Etrian Odyssey 1 & 2

I’m not gonna lie to you. If you want a challenge, if you want a serious RPG, then this is the game for you. There aren’t flashy graphics, there are only stats, items, monsters and a very cool map-making system. You and your party of adventurers goes down into a dungeon few go into to find the treasure. You can pick classes, have as many members as you want. but can only carry a few around. The monsters get viciously difficult to kill very quickly. The battle system is your standard turns based on speed/surprise factor. Lots of fun, but I’m warning you now: Almost as addictive as an MMO(but so much cheaper!). I thoroughly enjoyed them, even if the god damn F.O.E.s obliterated me for days.
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The magic of beat/rhythm/music games is strong. Nothing makes you feel good like playing your favorite song, rocking out and getting the highest score you can. Well, not everyone knows what good music games there are out there, so here’s something that might point you in the right direction. Get ready to boogie!

Elite Beat Agents/Ouendan

If you haven’t heard of EBA, you probably need to come out of your cave. This game is totally amazing. The song selection is a bit… Odd, yes, but solid. Every second of this game is hilarious. The EBA go around the world and cheer on people who are in tough situations. How this would help someone steal back plans for their business or help a cat save a baby from a construction zone is beyond me, but I won’t complain. The game gives you numbered circles, and you have to tap them in sequence and rhythm with the playing song. Easy, right? For a while, sure, but you’ll be crying when you fail at the last stretch of “Without a Fight”. This game is on the DS only, has an American version(EBA) and two Japanese versions with different characters, scenarios, music, but that same awesome gameplay. There’s even a custom song game with gameplay very much like it on the PC called “Osu!”, but unless you have a touch screen PC you’re gonna be mousin’ it.
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I sadly didn’t get my PS1 until a few years before the PS2 came out. That’s not to say I didn’t know what to play on it. As I got it I was just arriving on the RPG scene in my life, but those games are for another article… Not that one or two may pop up in here.

Anyway, I had a few, and have recently come across more. Here’s what I think  you should take a peek at.

Threads of Fate

Gonna be totally honest with you here. I have never really liked a lot of the games that Squaresoft/enix developed, but this (And Crystal Chronicles) are a few exceptions.

In this game, you can play as one of two characters: Rue, a young, mysterious boy (Who you can tell is a boy!) is found in a temple and cared for by a nice lady named Clair. Then, one night, the two of them are attacked by a strange man with a very large black handclaw thing. Rue wishes to find this called the to revive his dead housemate. His gameplay consists of playing as Rue himself with his giant pizza cutter, as well as several of the local monsters that he can transform into after defeating and collecting their tokens.

Mint, on the other hand, is a princess who wishes only to use the to take over the world after her sister kicks her out. She uses two rings to cast magic as her specialty. The game is interesting, you earn more HP by taking damage and healing, and it incorperates a fair amount of platforming elements. I dunno who scored this game, but whoever it is deserves a god damn medal.
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A game is supposed to be enjoyable. When I play a game, I play it for fun. Even when I go to a tournament and play for money I’m still playing for fun. If playing a game isn’t fun, then you should really put the controller down and pick up what does turn your crank.

That being said,  something that doesn’t always make a game enjoyable is the graphics. Sure, graphics can be nice, especially in a game where it serves a purpose. However, in my time, I have heard far too many people tell me that they wouldn’t play a game simpily because it wasn’t top notch graphics or it didn’t push the hardware of the machine to the max. Why would you wanna do that to your machine?

If a game is fun and has good graphics, that’s great, but what if it’s not the best image capture top notch stuff? Some games look amazing even without the magic of the third dimension. Ever take a look at Cave Story? The game would pass for a SNES game, the gameplay is something that’s involving and fun, and the story, while confusing at first, will have you in tears.  Ever take a look at Sonic the Hedgehog on the PS3 and 360? I’m a huge Sonic fan and this game, while very pretty, was a nightmare to play. Sonic clips through curbs, jumps make him slow to a near stop and a personal killer for me: I can see his feet the entire time. I never ever wanna see Sonic’s feet when he’s running. Ever.
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Yes, even the Xbox has good games to play. Not many, though. Thankfully, I’m here to tell you a few for that hulking black monster. Let’s take a dive.

Stubbs the Zombie in:

Rebel Without a Pulse

FINALLY A USE FOR HALO. Hoho. With all seriousness,though… This game, made with the Halo engine, was what should have been big instead of Halo if you ask me. You play as Stubbs, a zombie with nothing better to do but zombify everyone he meets. You get a choice: Bite people to turn them into your zombie follower, posses them with your hand and have them kill other people or just kill them. Your followers automatically attempt to turn everyone they see, so keep that in mind. Stubbs has some cool things he can do. He can take his head off and go bowling, take over people’s minds with his severed hand, throw his organs as grenades or fart to unleash a deadly toxic gas. Cool job, Stubbs, you look pretty Wario!
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