FREEEEEEDOOOOOOOM!

Much has been made of the current health of PC gaming, with developers and fans alike voicing their opinions one way or the other. Leaving aside piracy, the casual market, and all that nonsense for a moment, I’d like to offer my reasons why I’m about ready to fly the PC gaming coop.
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Presumably ‘The Outfoxies’ refers to the act of out foxing one’s opponent, which I suppose makes some sense. The rest of this game…less so. A bit of a lost gem, The Outfoxies was created by Namco in 1994. Presumably fueled by sackloads of narcotics bought with the profits Ridge Racer brought in. Long before Super Smash Brothers heralded a new breed of super-competitive console gamer this was a title which, if anything, was an even more mad-capped take on the 2D fighter genre.

The gameplay is essentially a 2D predecessor to the likes of Power Stone and Super Smash Brothers. You enter a series of one-on-one fights to the death against various opponents including a top-hatted chimp named Dweeb, two Children Of The Corn-esque blonde children, a circus freak and her pet lizard and a wheelchair bound professor. The inappropriateness of some of the characters is what makes the game so odd. Maybe it’s just me, but shooting a pair of kids in the face with a machine gun just seems wrong. Ah yes, the weapons though. You start each round unarmed and with only your puny

Yes, that's a whale.

fists as protection. It won’t take you long to find something more destructive though, as the multi-tiered arenas are littered with a multitude of items with which to inflict pain. These vary from swords, grenades and rocket launchers to pies, barrels and lumps of coal (found on the steam train level).

The arenas themselves are also of note, with each one featuring destructible scenery. Ceilings collapse, walls break, pipes explode leaving new areas and weapons exposed. Knowing how to use the scenery to your advantage is as important as anything in this game. Conveyor belts, trapeze artists, even sharks feature in the various stages and can be used to your advantage or peril.

It’s difficult to fully encapsulate how bizarre this game is in words alone. It’s also quite well polished and a real blast with two players. Above all else, this game is just plain fun. It’s a real shame The Outfoxies never found its way onto a home console. It would certainly make a welcome addition to WiiWare/XBLA/PSN, with added online multiplayer. Sadly that’s about as likely as being attacked by a knife wielding primate. Do yourself a favour and hunt it down. If nothing else, it has a monkey in it.