Won’t somebody please think of the CHILDREN?

That’s essentially the rallying cry of the watchdog group Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, or CCFC. The name may ring a bell to those who follow the gaming news; those who don’t, well, really didn’t miss much. 

Once again the CCFC’s antics don’t fail to deliver on the entertainment value, and this time the object of their (pointless) ire is Lego Batman: The Videogame. Why, you ask? I don’t know either. 

Let’s try to rationalize the two basic components of Lego Batman: The Videogame:

• Lego = good, educational, mindless fun.
• Batman = awesome story revolving around the concept of justice and about how crime doesn’t pay. 

I certainly don’t see any problem with it; it looks like a winning formula when looked at from any angle. But of course, CCFC being a watchdog group that dedicates itself to the unneeded, unwanted, and unnecessary cause of taking commercialism away from childhood, they condemned Lego Batman as a virtual spawn of commercial Satan, including it in their list of Toys Oppressive and Destructive to Young Children. Check out their write-up:
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Yeah, you heard it right. I want to buy the most expensive current-gen console just to play a game that’s only five bucks after reading the official press release of Keita Takahashi’s Noby Noby Boy. Does that make me impulsively stupid? Being a ‘normal’ kind of stupid is already bad, but an impulsive one? Let me explain myself for a bit.
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It’s already apparent by now that I’m a big Space Invaders fan, but despite the glut of sweet, sweet Invader merchandise created to commemorate the franchise’s 30th Anniversary, its still hard to procure many of these items – Space Invaders alarm clock, pillow, Kitkat , etc – solely because I don’t live in Japan.

But we make do.

In any case, I was able to sniff out and pre-order the Space Invaders 30th Anniversary commemorative headset and Raglan shirt months ago in Play-Asia, and after a long wait (thanks to pushed back release dates), the Space Invaders care package was finally delivered to my doorstep by a FedEx guy wannabe.

Another plus is that the headset can be folded to let you stow it without taking up too much space. However the hinges are too loose, giving a floppy feel to the headset.

Cons: The white adjustable stems are made of plastic commonly used in cheap toys, and may not appeal to those prefer only high-quality material on their stuff. While the whole thing is sturdy and doesn’t look like it’ll break under moderate usage, the choice of material for the stems look somewhat flimsy. Also, what doesn’t appeal to me is the white-colored cord, which is dirt-prone and will never fail to turn grayish after weeks of usage despite proper handling and care.

Finally managed to get my hands on Ragnarok Online DS, the miniature version of Gravity’s surprisingly resilient MMO. Despite my enthusiasm towards the concept of finally getting an RO experience (more or less) in the pocket, an hour or so of playtesting the game left me feeling a bit… “meh”. Not too awesome, but not too crappy.

(Author’s Note: Considering that I played the game’s Japanese release and I didn’t want to force myself to “read” moonspeak by squinting at the text for long periods of time in the hopes of understanding it, I may have missed some options that would have improved my gaming experience.)

Graphics: At first glance, the whole game looks like it’s been ripped out from the original PC version of Ragnarok Online. Now, this is good: imagine being able to walk through the familiar Pronteran fields with the same trees, the same pathways and waters, and the same plop-plopping Porings, all in the compact handheld console that is your DS. Fields and dungeons are broken down into small parts so the player can go through the environments piecemeal with minimal lagging between areas and/or slowdown.

Judging from the first dungeon I played through (DS exclusive; I’m not sure if I came across an underground dungeon solely populated with Porings and the Culvert theme playing in the background), expect some areas to be sparsely decorated. No pillars, no trees, no rocks; just you, the floor, and the poor Poring. Now, if you’re a nitpicker you’d certainly go anal-retentive at the sore lack of background elements.

But what really gets to me is how the sprites look crappy when you zoom out your view. Surprisingly, the GungHo Works managed to make the zoom in/out function available in the DS incarnation, but it pretty much gives a mediocre result. The 3D background and textures still looks more or less the same, whether zoomed in or out, but the sprites become horribly pixellated when you crank up the zoom out view. And when I say pixellated, I say disfigured beyond recognition.

All things considered, liking Ragnarok Online DS’ graphics its just a matter of nostalgia versus quality.

Interface/Controls: GungHo Works, the new division of Japanese MMO published GungHo Entertainment, certainly made an effort to mimic the user interface of the game, at least to a certain level. They implemented the shortcut bar (or however you call it), where players can opt to hotkey skills and/or items for use during battles. Like the later version of the shortcut bar, you can configure and swap between three bars with just a nudge of the stylus.

Now, here is where things go a bit wrong: it seems that in order for you to use skills, you have to tap the icon of your chosen skill in the shortcut bar, then immediately perform the needed motion to activate the skill. I see this as redundant – the developers could have opted a more streamlined control scheme akin to The World Ends With You, where players can just perform stylus motions anytime they like without having to push any buttons or tap any icons. I can see myself getting flustered at the game if ever I’ll encounter a higher-level mob, tapping icons and doing random stylus motions, and maybe break the touchscreen in frustration.

That said, the in-game controls of Ragnarok Online DS are mostly stylus-based, and the DS buttons are only used as shortcuts to the following windows:

Y – equip
B – stats
X – items
A – menu
R – notepad

The Notepad function is a cute yet useful addition to the game – I’m not sure if it’s main use is to let players scribble important notes for quests, but I used it as a nifty drawing tablet. Seriously, though, its a convenient touch and most RPGs should make use of a similar function (like Phantom Hourglass and Phantasy Star). Hey, that’s what the touchscreen and stylus is for.

Gameplay: I haven’t gotten that far into the game to give pertinent impressions about its gameplay, but suffice it to say that it has a decent combat system similar to Soma Bringer. You control your newbie character, while your party member (you get a Shaman at the first part of the game) is controlled by AI.

Since I couldn’t make heads or tails of the moonspeak menu, I’m also not so sure if you can assign certain actions or behavior patterns on your teammates. It would be nice if you can order your partner, who has less that 1/4 HP, to defend himself or to concentrate on healing the party. That would really be a big plus towards the game.

Like the original Ragnarok Online, you can assign stat points to attributes such as Str, Int, Vit, etc. Sadly the stat attributes are labelled in kanji, so I couldn’t tell which is which :/ I don’t think I’ll be able to play the game if my stats are stunted, so I think I’ll just have to keep an eye out for FAQs for reference before I play again from scratch.

Sounds: Not surprisingly, Ragnarok Online DS makes use of the same soundtrack found in the original PC version. However, the background music is midi-fied, meaning that instead of the awesome SoundTEMP-produced orchestra and guitars you’ll hear mostly techno bleeps and bops trying hard to emulate the original music, but they do a great job anyway. Except to hear the usual plop-plopping of Porings, and other sound clips that can’t be mistaken for anything else but Ragnarok Online.

Miscallaneous but still important: Here’s what really disappointed me about the game: I was duped by one of the game’s cutscenes into thinking that I could walk around Prontera, showing clips and scenes of familiar Pronteran streets and landmarks, such as the fountain. After the cutscene, however, it turns out that I couldn’t traverse the Pronteran alleyways (and maybe find a scamming vendor or two). To go to shops, inns, or go out of the city, all I have to do is talk to Ms. Pavianne, who would warp me to my chosen location.

What also ticked me off are the extremely long cutscenes. Sure, they’re needed to build the game’s story and all, but having to go through five full minutes of watching the characters talk, bump, or hit each other is nothing but tedious. Even more so when I’m allowed to do a short piece of actual game time after a lengthy cutscene, only to launch into another borefest again. I’m starting to think that Ragnarok Online DS is actually a parody of Metal Gear Solid 4, only without the Kojima touch. At least you can opt to skip cutscenes in his game.

Overall Impression: As I said before, it’s not great, but not bad either. Yes, it looks like I’m weaseling out in this review, but let me reiterate that I’m playing a Japanese version of the game; there’s a chance that I’ll actually like Ragnarok Online if I can actually understand the menu, etc.

Pros: Good job in retaining the look, feel, and sound of the original game; character customization is enabled to some extent (naming, equipment, stat assignment…not so sure about being able to play as other classes, though. All the screenshots I’ve seen is the main character wearing a knight sprite); small things such as the inclusion of zoom in/out function as well as the notepad.

Cons: Crappy sprites on zoom-out, redundant battle controls, extremely long cutscenes, not being able to explore cities like the original Ragnarok Online.

MMORPG = Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game. 

I don’t see the word “dating” in the above acronym.

Before I continue, let me get something straight first: I don’t have any complaints about people hooking up through online games per se. That’s cool; you managed to bump into someone who shares the same interests as you (as do a bazillion other people, no doubt), and it’s way better to meet someone who at least shares your interests than meeting someone from a random bar, or a dating site.

If you could help it, though, it’s best to steer clear from checking out that cute pally in your guild.

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Most of us know about the attempted invasion thirty years ago, and how the Core Cannon – humanity’s greatest hope back then – successfully fended off the threat of UFOs and pixellated aliens. Victory against the Space Invaders means peace for humanity right? Wrong.

Three decades have passed, and humans being humans, started to fight amongst themselves over the Core Cannon, the weapon that was supposed to bring peace to the world. Seeing that the Earthlings are too busy bombing each other to notice any alien threat, the embittered Space Invaders have started plotting their revenge. Now with better planning and attack formations, Taito’s Space Invaders are back…and this time no bunker will save anything who gets in their way. (continue reading…)