Anyway, Sonic games. Yeah yeah, I know. sonic has been REALLY bad lately. And it hurts me deep… but there are good ones. Lemme show yah what ones.

Starting with a newer game:

Sonic and the Black Knight

No, really. I’m not kidding. The concept for this game was HORRIBLE, but the execution is pretty damn good. Sonic is summoned to the land of King Arthur by a cute loli version of Merlin named (surprise!) Merlina and after some delicious chili dog eating, Sonic gets a magic talking sword named “Caliburn”. The action is fast, and the sword allows you to obliterate most enemies without a care in the world. Now, like Secret Rings, there are a few slowdowns. There are points where you have to give villagers rings and there are large enemies that don’t go down in one hit, but everything else in the game is a pretty damn good time. I don’t really recommend it for someone who doesn’t like Sonic, but it’s worth a try even if  you don’t.

Sonic Rush

This is the game where Blaze the Cat was introduced. The story for this game is something like Blaze comes from the negaverse and there are funky Chaos Emerald style gems there as well and Blaze is looking for them… It doesn’t matter much, it’s really not important. This game also introduced something I think all Sonic games need: A boost meter. You can use it to get to speed with a small burst or use it to destroy everything in your path for a short time. It’s filled by rings, doing mid-air tricks or defeating enemies. It’s awesome and EVERY SINGLE SONIC GAME SHOULD HAVE IT FOREVER.

YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE BEST

Sonic CD

Oh god, this is one of the best Sonic games in my opinion. It brings together some of the best parts of the first three Sonic games, but it adds in cool shit like time travel and some of the most fucking amazing music ever. The level design is amazing, the bosses are challenging and the time travel mechanic gives each level a wonderfully fresh feel. The game has good replayability and looks totally amazing. It’s for the Sega CD, PC and is an unlockable in the Sonic Mega Collection.

And, finally…

Sonic 3 & Knuckles

What happens if you take one of the most critically acclaimed Sonic games, then add the functionality to play as FUCKING KNUCKLES? You get one of the coolest things ever. Ever. This is seriously one of the best things that 16 bits has to offer. Climb shit, swim in the water, get around… You can do it all. You can do it with Sonic 2 as well.

That wraps up this stuff. Sorry about being gone so long, personal shit…

Anyway, I hope that soon I will be able to contribute regularly again!

Till next time!

Jumpluff~

While Sony has made several blunders in the current gen console war one of the biggest was allowing Call of Duty 4 to go multi-platform. The game has become such a runaway success that it could have single-handedly changed the face of the war as we know it. Perhaps equally as big was allowing Grand Theft Auto 4 to go multi-platform. Although the game sold about 45/55%  on the PS3 and Xbox 360 respectively, there are rumblings that the next installment in the GTA series may become a Playstation exclusive by default.

Wait, what the hell are you talking about?

As has been documented, Rockstar was notably unhappy with the limitations of the DVD-9 format on the Xbox 360 and how it affected GTA 4. As we’ve all seen though, both versions of the game are practically the same. The rumblings this time around though are seem to be much more boisterous. Early rumours have Rockstar threatening to not release GTA5 on the Xbox, but that begs the question: Why? Why sacrifice all the money you would undoubtedly make by only creating the game for one console?

Although one can never account for backroom dealings and shattered business relationships, there is really only one answer.

They want their game to be good.

Was GTA4 lacking on the Xbox 360? Of course not. It was Game of the Year. It recieved rave reviews across the board. But could it have been better? WOULD it have been better if it had only been released for a single console? Of course. This applies to any game released on any console exclusively though. What makes this time around special is that the GTA developers may in fact be willing to part with the extra revenue in order to better perfect their craft which seems absolutely ludicrous in our current economic standings. It is not to say that Rockstar would be the first group to sacrifice sales for art. It is however to say that doing so now could prove to be an earth shaking event that has an indelible effect on how Video Games are made.

In a world driven by profit, and in an industry not well renowned for being bohemian, this kind of move would be as surprising as it would be dramatic. A triple-A developer openly supporting both their own art and A specific console could sway other third party developers to do the same. It would also give other developers a comfortable “out” to abandon a platform they wouldn’t want to develop on for fear of not returning enough profit. After all, in such hard economic times, it’s surprising that more companies aren’t already doing this and attributing it towards a need for the betterment of the game as opposed to monetary restrictions. Keep in mind as well, if Halo 3, Gears of War and Metal Gear Solid 4 have shown us anything, exclusive games can still sell ridiculously well regardless of being exclusive.

That being said, the whole “pursuing art” argument could simply be an excuse from Rockstar after the fact. Rockstar has a contractual obligation to produce 3 exclusive games for the PS3 as reported by the Hiphopgamer (through an interview with an industry insider) and other sources. We know one of these games is Agent, another one of these games may supposedly be the somewhat forgotten L.A. Noire, a sandbox game set in the 1930’s. GTA 5 would probably be not all that different than 4 regardless of development time and console exclusivity, and if L.A. Noire is factored in, that would mean all of the three promised exclusives would be off the table.

If one wanted to be even more pessimistic, this could be seen as also be seen as a moving away from Microsoft has the prime conduit for producing games. Take-Two openly denied Microsoft’s exclusivity bid for Bioshock 2 while EA is now releasing Dead Rising 2 on the PS3. Capcom has also recently confirmed a concurrent release of Lost Planet 2. Along with a slew of exclusives for the PS3, this could seem very dramatic, but there are still a lot of positives for the Xbox.

Don't worry cousin, beeg American teetee's will probably come to all platforms (minus Wii)

Even though EA has clearly made Dead Rising 2 multi-platform, the status of Mass Effect is still up in the air. Microsoft also has Epic, Bethesda and VALVe onboard as companies who are much more enamored with Microsoft than they are with Sony. And of course, staying with the pessimism, Microsoft has one very, very big asset. A seemingly inexhaustible amount of money. Everyone has their price, and a company as rich as Microsoft can probably name yours.

Microsoft made Rockstar rich. Rockstar took at least 30% of every sale from the GTA4 expansion pack, along with the millions of dollars they recieved from the exclusivity deal itself. Ultimately, beyond all of this industry wheeling and dealing as well as speculation, it just doesn’t seem like anyone can resist the siren song of the greenback. Perhaps that’s why I find it so interesting that the such a bohemian notion can be expressed by Rockstar. Even with evidence showing that it could be legitimate and genuine (undoubtedly in the exclusivity of Agent), I’m still not convinced that such dedication to art can even exist in our modern day industry. If it does come to pass though. it might just spur on the innovation and advancement in the industry that some believe is lacking. And if this kind of innovation can occur when times are tough, imagine how sweet it could be in times of plenty.

• Halo: Reach.  New Halo game (there’s a big surprise)  I’ve already read the Halo books, so I know how this one plays out.  So, on top of ODST, that’s two Halo games coming out.  Maybe Bungie should, I dunno, try something new?  At this rate they’re going to milk that cash cow to death.
• Project Natal.  The 360 is getting motion controls, but with a twist:  You are the controller.  Supposedly provides advanced motion recognition.  Sounds like the Eye Toy to me, so I’m not holding my breath.
• Metal Gear Solid Rising.  Oh look, a 360-exclusive Metal Gear title (starring Raiden).  PS3 owners everywhere weep.
• Gears of Metroidvania.  I don’t remember what the title of this game was, but it’s being produced by Epic for the XBox Live Marketplace.
• Some cart game.  Coming soon to XBox Live Marketplace – A free cart racing game!  You just have to pay for extra levels and cars.
• Alan Wake.  Survival Horror.  Looks promising.  Also looks like Silent Hill.
• Social Media Integration.  Soon you’ll be able to access Facebook and Twitter right from your dashboard.  Whee.
• Better video on demand.  Something about 1080p and coverage in new countries.  Wasn’t really paying attention.
• Milo.  Freakish “electronic companion” native to the uncanny valley being developed by Peter Molyneux.  Supposedly understands you and can talk back.  It’s like you really have a friend!
• Forza thing game.  Racing game.  Allows you to customize your cars.  Supposedly fosters communities among children.  It’s a racing game.
• Left 4 Dead 2.  Very short and vague clip.  I think they’re adding chainsaws.

Other games were shown during the presentation, but that’s all that really stood out for me.

Oh yeah, Steven Speilberg showed up at some point, right about the time I got bored and went to the gym.

Presenting…

…The Top Five Signs That a DLC Should Have Just Been Free

Brought to you by Fedora Man

Well it finally April and you have to love how easy it is to open an article with the lines “so it’s finally whatever month we’re in right now”. It’s time for the next step in my great journey to earn money through a video game blog. Now I know you might be wondering “I thought you had billions! Were you lying to me?” The answer is of course, no. Stupid. Why would I make something like that up? But the difference between that money and the money I’ll earn on this site is I actually had to do work to earn it, unlike my corporation where I really don’t do any work at all. I can show all my friend “yeah this is the ten dollars I earned THROUGH WORK!” and if they say that they also have a job and have made more money, I’ll pull out my emergency one million dollars that I always keep stashed in my pants and laugh at them, probably while rubbing the money all over myself.

Now I’m sure that everyone reading this right now loves to hear all the stories that end with me rubbing money all over myself (and there are a lot of them) but now is neither the time, nor the place for me to describe my achievements to the world. Mainly because I think that might blow my secret identity and also I don’t think anyone would let me post an article called “The Top Five Ways to Rub Money All Over Yourself Like a Pro”. Instead I’m going to write about some game related phenomena, but only because I have to.

That brings me to my greatest problem: what the hell am I going to write about? There aren’t any games coming out these days (according to me) and writing about one specific past game has been done by everyone and their grandma. At first I was thinking “Heroes of Might and Magic 2, everyone will love to hear about that!” before moving to and idea about specific overrated games. Then one night I was staying up late to try to perfect the insertion of a giant blade into my fedora. Some might call that an oddjob rip off, but those same people might find it hard to speak when, say, a razor-bladed hat cuts their entire mouth off. Anyway it was around 6 am that I decided “screw it I’m too tired to think up a new idea” and settled for this one.

Now if you’re like me (and you’re not at all like me) then you too have expressed frustration at some of the worst excuses for DLC (downloadable content if you somehow made it to this point in the article without knowing what that is) ever made. That’s not to say that all DLC is bad and that it should all be free because there are small amounts of DLC that actually seem to have been worked hard on and deserve some sort of monetary reimbursement (the shivering isles for Oblivion is the first thing that comes to mind). Of course for every shivering isles there are hundreds of “screw you, give me all your money” DLCs or as I like to affectionately call them “dog shit”. I’m sure that this isn’t just at 360 problem, it’s probably also a problem with the PS3 but I wouldn’t know now would I? So here are the signs to identify if the dog shit you just bought should have been free.

Number 5: When the DLC is Free Anyway

Example: Call of Duty 4: Variety Map Pack

This is probably the one that isn’t about dog shit (I’m very much hoping the editor doesn’t take offense to that word being used over and over again). This is one of the cases where the DLC might actually be good but in any case it isn’t free even when say, THEY OFFER IT FOR FREE ANYWAY!

Take the above example for instance. The Call of Duty 4 map pack was offered for free via a code in the Game of the Year Edition. The cost of the Game of the Year Edition is exactly the same as the original game so you’d think they’d start offering the map pack for free, right? Wrong (as always)! I’m not exactly sure why they’d do this (other than the obvious “I want more money” approach) yet it seems like around the time they started offering free map packs they’d just go ahead and put it out for free on the marketplace anyway. There’s only one possible explanation: to piss off hat-based crime fighters.

Hell, that reminds me; before I go on I’d like to tell a little story about my experience with these “free” maps. It started like any other day, random death hurricanes mixed with volcanoes and a zombie apocalypse, you know, nothing special. So I decided that I’d go and get Call of Duty 4 because I was in a crime fighting slump (only because I imprisoned all my enemies) and so I decided to blow off some steam by mercilessly killing people on the internet. I picked out my game and brought it to the Gamestop counter where the cashier was like “I’ll give you the game of the year edition, it doesn’t cost anymore and it gives you free maps.” So I was like “sweet free maps, thanks you pimply faced bastard, I’ll be sure not to violently attack you in the future over game prices.” So as I got back home I opened the box… nothing. There was a game and an instruction booklet but that pimply faced sonofabitch lied to me! There wasn’t any map code at all! Now my first reaction was to don my fedora and jacket/trench coat (have to protect my secret identity) and go back to that store to kick all kinds of ass. But I’m a detective too and my detective-like instincts told me that it probably wasn’t that pimply faced bastard’s fault. Using my fedora-shaped super computer I quickly got confirmation that this had happened to many other people as well. In the end, after a brief bout with tech support that should have just began and ended with the word “bastard” I never got my maps. I’m just waiting for the time that they become free, WHICH THEY NEVER WILL!

Number 4: When the Game in Question has a Sequel

Example: Call of Duty 4: Variety Map Pack

Call of Duty again? Really? Well that’s just an example; there are many games like this. Again this isn’t necessarily dog shit but I promise that the next one will be about dog shit, you dog shit enthusiast you. Anyway the reason I claim that the DLC (which may or may not be dog shit to appease all you crazy people) should be free once a sequel comes out because sales probably drop rapidly over time once the sequel hits stores. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works, but don’t take my word on it, it’s not like I know a lot about business (although I do run a multi-billion dollar business in my free time). I don’t think anyone is rushing out to go buy Halo 2, or Mario Party 3 (despite how awesome Mario Party 3 was) so I’ve taken this rule and applied it to damn near any other game. Maybe I can understand not immediately making it free but in the above example Call of Duty 5 (or Call of Duty: whatever the hell they’re calling it these days) has been out for nearly half a year and I doubt that the Call of Duty 4 will have those free maps in another four or five months time. Granted the two were made by different developers but that’s beside the point. Give me the free maps! I demand it!

Number 3: When the DLC Doesn’t Add Anything Special to the Game

Example: Bomberman Live: Bomb-Up Packs

So NOW we’re talking about dog shit. Again I’m hoping the editor doesn’t come to my house and challenge me to a fist fight for using that so often. In any case I could talk about this in depth but the name says it all. The dog shit doesn’t add a whole lot to the game so it should be free on the grounds that I don’t want to pay you to add pretty much nothing to the overall gameplay.

Take my above example… for example (does that even work?) Bomberman’s bomb-up packs should definitely have been free or just included it in the original game. With the pack comes a bunch of gametypes and maps no one online plays anyway (we’re all too busy playing on the good starting maps with the non-stupid game variants to care). It’s like opening a gift on Christmas to get a playstation 2, a gamecube, or an xbox when you already have the better console. But gosh there’s really not more to say about it, maybe I’m complaining too much or maybe… just maybe… you’re not complaining enough.

Number 2: When the DLC is Just a Little Polish to an Otherwise Bland Turd Sandwich

Example: Crackdown (whatever that weapon pack is called)

I wanted to research what the dog shit was called here to retain my journalistic and genius vigilante integrity but I honestly didn’t care. Now let me set one thing straight, whereas Number 3 on the list (the one you just read if you read like a normal human being or super being) was about something that should be free based on the fact that it added little to a good game, this one is about DLC which could be good or bad that adds little to a horrible game. That’s right; I beat the system by having ALMOST identical but still slightly different types of DLC on display. Wooh!

Anyway I’m sure you (yes you, the guy in the red baseball cap) can think of a ton of DLC and games like this, but let’s go with my example because I already took the time to write it down. Now Crackdown wasn’t THAT bad of a game… okay yeah it was. The whole game was GTA or Saints Row with a ton of collection and not a lot of anything else. Shooting civilians was a power-up losing crime too, so there goes all the random slaughtering fun. The goal of the game is to collect orbs and kill a bunch of bad guys. You’re basically like Super Man except with a gun (or a slightly more athletic Fedora Man, with super powers, a gun, and no awesome hat). So after the fun of jumping around rooftops and shooting people wears off about six hours into the game what’s left to do? Well Realtime Worlds (the developers) has the answer in the form of a content pack sure to add a couple more hours of fun to the game. You get a weapon like the harpoon gun which is cool in that you can fire harpoons at people and stick them to cars and buildings and trees and other people. Where was the downside again? Oh right the fact that there’s a fuggin’ price tag associated with it. What the hell?! I paid sixty dollars for your game! There is no way in hell I’m going to spend six to ten dollars more to make your game NOT suck as much. You may think I’m being a little frustrated this time, because if there’s anything Fedora Man is known for its definitely not violent outbursts of vigilante justice. But that’s what happens when you stay up too late and you keep slicing off your fingers with your stupid razor-blade lined hat that STILL DOESN’T WORK!

But hey let’s look on the bright side. I’d like to take this time to get away from all the anger and pessimism and quickly point out Left 4 Dead. It’s a decent game, not too bad, not too good. But it appears that they’re coming out with DLC soon to make the game better. You know what I like the most about it without even having to look up gameplay videos on youtube? The fact that valve decided to not be a bunch of assholes and release the DLC free. So there, at least I tried to make this article slightly happier with a contrast between dog shit and decent DLC, as well as decent business practices in general.

Number 1: When the DLC in Question Sucks

Example: Too many to count

Damn even the example is a little depressing. There’s like a sea of dog shit out there (not literally you creep) and you know a DLC should be free when the DLC itself sucks. Really, this one ties into every other group category. By now you must be wondering “is there some kind of evil video game-themed villain out there causing all the DLC in the world to suck?” Well no, there was once, but he died in 1983 when the video game crash happened. It was weird and sad because the one thing he was trying to destroy was the only thing keeping him alive. Once the games became bad enough the crash happened and he died. It’s tragic, which is why I’m writing a play about it. I’m thinking of starring the lead role to Adam West and maybe get Jackie Chan in there somehow; we’ll have to see how it turns out.

Anyway there’s really not much more to say but hell I have time to kill in between creating my razor-bladed fedora and fighting demons from beyond time and space. So I’ll start with a little known game called Halo 2 (does anyone remember this game?). Halo 2 had four or five map packs, with the last one having two levels “Desolation” and “turd sandwich” or… something like that, I can’t remember (and I refuse to look it up). Anyway both were remakes and both were TERRIBLE. Although I’m not ashamed to own the Halo series, I am deeply ashamed to have put any money down toward this map pack. Turd sandwich was a terrible level and desolation was… also terrible (cut me some slack I’m tired AND I saved the world yesterday, shut up). Look I’ll give you another example: Halo 3. Halo 3 (and I use the halo series because of its general accessibility so people know what I’m talking about) had the “Heroic map pack” which was so bloody awful that I had to think twice before ever purchasing any kind of map pack EVER AGAIN! It was like they had a staff meeting but only three people showed up and they left after five minutes after someone said “but think about the customers” and someone else responded with “screw the customers!”

I’ll give you one more you might not have thought about: gamer pictures. Yeah those things, you actually have to pay for them. I think I’ll leave it at that instead of pointing out the crippling stupidity in paying for tiny pictures rather than picking up a fedora to hide your identity and going out to vigilante the shit out of the gaming industry.

Now it seems that game developers are more focused on creating overly subversive stories instead on giving the player a little more poignant realism in the form of optional total bodily dismemberment. Yeah sure there are still gibs in UT3 and God Of War has bloody decapitations but all in all after being a gore hound for these earlier games they just strike me as a little weak. Which brings me to my next point:

The all powerful, game stomping, fail-safe line of the A-O rating. Publishers shy away from this because there’s a good chance that their product will be outlawed in several countries as well as shunned by retailers. But if you’ve gotten around to playing Madworld you’ll see the same argument that hack directors make when they want to show their cocks in their terribly pretentious arthouse film. And that is; ‘It’s pornography unless it’s artistic.’ This is why Madhouse ever came about the way it did and on that system. Considering that the Wii is barely above the PS2 in graphics power I have a feeling that this game could have been done far more violently years ago for the aforementioned system.

But what is risque now? I mean in GTAIV we delivered drugs, we shot cops, we gangbanged and we did driveby’s but honestly did you really ever see anything in GTA that you wouldn’t see in either a superhero movie or on the dumbed down CNN ticker? What I’m really lobbying for is a publisher to be taken seriously when it wants to depict the horrors of war and violence. Not for the sake of a shock factor but for a: realism and b: immersion. Well perhaps a bit of entertainment at that rate. But I’m not going to quote all those innocuous various studies that have time and time again placated our parents into buying us the new shootemup under the guise that video games don’t kill people, stupid children who aren’t smacked around by their parents enough kill people.

In any case I believe this blanket statement to be true. Seeing as they completely butchered my favorite series, SOF:Payback has become something of a joke to gamers. No longer is that leap of faith such a thing but now we go into our mature rated games like ‘Yes, we’ve got a rocket launcher and it will send you flying into the air.’ However an addendum to that statement as games strive for realism and immersion should have an extra ‘and you can see the mangled tendons trailing (using physics of course) under you as your torso separates from your pelvis‘ tacked onto it.

So yes, I want violence. I want lots of bloody brutal violence that I can choose to inflict on my various legions of frowny-faced foes at my whim. My stipulations are that it be well done and not half assed, that it isn’t the one tagline feature on the game box, and it isn’t the only reason I want to play the game. Too often are nextgen games jerked off by their marketing department for only good things about that particular game. If Medal Of Honor: Allied Assault had dismemberment during the Omaha Beach scene even for it’s day and graphics I think it would still be one of the most revered games out there. If we’re killing people in our games let’s take the fucking condom off and really feel what it is to take a life, and I want the option to be as sadistic as I can when doing so.

For once I’d like a game that I can barely stomach, and not for it’s repetitive environments with big burly dudes spraying down the decks with their machismo. Furthermore I don’t think many games have really captured what it feels like to shoot a gun, the gunshots aren’t deafening enough, the recoil of your screen shooting upwards is a joke and what we pass as action based gore feels so damned arcadey and tacked on. Hit zones is where it started but c’mon now guys; I want to take off limbs wherever my sword hits, not just at the joint. Also, you remember when you could blow off a guy’s leg in games and he’d crawl around and scream and make a lot of noise? You could choose to let him sit there and howl and alert guards or you could put a few into his breadbox. I miss this. There’s something about the penis extending chainsaw gun in GOW that simply doesn’t translate to the days of abandon.

-Veraliis

Well that’s just absurd, yet sounds oddly familiar, so familiar in fact, it was in a lot game in the nineties, specifically as the “Big Head” cheat. Well, what’s the point of that? To add some humor and fun without distracting from the gameplay, it was a “cheat” that didn’t side with the player or help the game; it was there just for fun. Oh, there was numerous cheats that were available to play around with, things to just screw around with. Not like those other do nasty cheats that give you infinite lives or something, but even those are somewhat lost in time to grant something to the player.

I’m here to mourn the death of the input code cheat, the do something spectacular cheat, the access more content cheat, the password cheat, etc. Justin Bailey must be rolling around in the ground right about now to see that these kinds of cheats are gone and forgotten.

Not all “cheats” are to get ahead in the game, they were just to add some silliness or give easter eggs that I so enjoyed. But then there are the other cheats that give infinite stuff or invulnerability, I really don’t have anything against those, and sometimes used them after I already beaten the game, or something to do to screw around with. So I’m wondering why the developers stop using these? Not only that, there’s no real game genie equivalent these days either, the action replays or the code breakers don’t feel right to me.

Instead of the extra content through cheats, we get Downloadable Content, free is good but when you start charging, it doesn’t feel right, because most of the time, it’s not all that fulfilling. Either that, you have to unlock the extra content, which is fine I guess. It just seems like developers have forgotten what fun cheats can give as most of them never really harmed anyone. Nowadays when I think of cheats, all I can think of is entering into the console in PC games to enter a command, no_clip isn’t as fun as typing IDSPISPOPD. And if there are cheats, they’re usually created by coders to grief online players, now that’s just not fun at all.

I know there are a few games out there that do this kind of stuff, but back then they were in like ninety percent of the games and it was great. Not only added fun within the game, there was somewhat, a whole culture revolved around cheating and passing it on. There were cheat book and such, not strategy guides, but actual books with cheat codes in them. And then there were the myths and stuff revolving around cheats.

I pretty sure everyone can remember the cow Level in the first Diablo right? What you don’t? Oh right, because there was no cow level. When the internet was young and a bunch of douchebags started rumors that there was a cow level in the first Diablo, it got so much momentum that the developers decided to actually add the cow level in Diablo II and fun was had by all.

Let’s take it up a notch, how about all the malarkey that revolved around the original Pokémon games? I swear the Down+B (or other variations) thing was telepathically spread. The internet wasn’t so easily accessible and yet somehow every kid on the block knew it. Those were very fun times, all those rumors; I would try every single one of them and guess what? It added so many hours to my gameplay and had fun doing it, like explorers of yore, you don’t know what might happen and what’s beyond the horizon, but you kept doing it. I was always excited to hear the next rumor to get mew or pikablu or whatever.

But there isn’t anything like that anymore, that culture or the actual cheats. I realize there are games out there, somewhere (like sports games), that still use these kinds of cheats and such, and it’s just that it’s just not what it used to be. So developers out there, bring back the big heads, make me on fire all the time, give me a gun that shoots rubber cocks or something. I want to press an absurd combination of buttons to get something to screw around with, not grind to get all that stuff – so bring back the code.

When I first got Fallout 3, I was impressed with the graphics and in some ways the gameplay, but I wasn’t impressed with the staggering amount of crashes, glitches, and overall graphical tomfoolery in the game. The worst part is, that this problem still exists. I can understand you want to keep a schedule for the game being released, but you’re only going to hurt your future prospects by releasing an unfinished game.

What I want to bring up now is Too Human. That game that was in development for something close to 10 years. With development time like how, how could the game be released with so much shit in it? It seems like Silicon Knights only advertised the game for 9 and a half years, and spent the last 6 months actually making the game. Too Human was suppose to be one of the best games ever, or you would expect so with a 10 year development time. Instead we get a severely bugged and horrible experience, as if no one had tested the game. This was even during successful economic times, so there’s no excuse.

The main point is patches and fixes are suppose to fix small things in games, things like balancing online, fixing small graphical glitches, not fucking releasing 200 megabytes of patches because you couldn’t finish the fucking game in the first place. Why release a game when it’s not done? Sure you may make some money off it but customers now will look at you and think to themselves “Didn’t those guys make <X>, uhm.. I don’t think I want it now”. This is certainly the case between myself and Silicon Knights. Too Human was an awesome idea completely ruined by the half-assed job they pulled off for the gameplay and the performance.

I know nothing when it comes to how companies work and how they release products, but speaking from a consumer point of view: people don’t like having to buy a game then having to download extra content just to play said game.

Halo Killer. WoW killer. If you have a First Person Shooter, you want to be a Halo Killer. If you have an MMORPG, you want to be a World of Warcraft Killer. Overtaking these games becomes an end unto itself, but not for the reasons of simple sales. Of course, the games that usually must be “killed” are often not the objectively best games, but are often games that have defined themselves as the standard that all games must measure up to.

Games like Halo and World of Warcraft cannot be killed in a conventional sense. With both games around 10 million sales, the sheer logistics of trying to outsell them is laughable at best. The real power lies in their ability to extend past the realm of video games and branch out into mainstream culture. In essence, any game that kills Halo would take its place in all of the news media and high school lunchroom discussions.

Through this, it’s easy to realize that these games can only be “killed” if their place in the culture is either superseded or invalidated by another game. Age of Conan hoped to invalidate World of Warcraft’s spot with much beefier combat and graphics array. It’s goal was to highlight the fact that Warcraft’s point and click combat and cartoony graphics were not what gamers wanted. Perhaps they would have succeeded if their game was no so barren and buggy.

Killzone 2 is undoubtedly attempting to supersede Halo’s position by focusing more on class-based combat, better graphics and a less arcadey feel to combat. Rather than be confrontational like AoC, Killzone presents itself as an evolution in the genre, rather than what it should have been. Although Killzone 2 will have high sales, the chances of it being a Halo killer with Halo Wars coming around the corner is highly unlikely. When it comes to First Person Shooter’s as well, there should always be a market for both heavily realistic games as well as more arcade-oriented games.

One of the more frustrating things about games that need to be “killed” is the fact they are often the successful amalgamation of several things already established in the gaming industry. Practically none of Halo or World of Warcraft’s features are “new”, but the fact that they integrate them all so successfully helps make them rampantly popular, even to the point where people don’t even acknowledge the contributions made by the games they are borrowing from. This may lead some to wish the worst for the series as their favorite game was probably forgotten in the process, or they may feel that the game accentuates the wrong aspects of the games it is emulating.

A perfect example of this would be another Blizzard franchise: Starcraft. While I won’t name names or sling mud, it must be especially painful for fans of a certain game *COUGH* DAWN OF WAR *COUGH* to hear that their game is ripping off Starcraft when in fact the opposite is the case. This goes to show the power of a game that must be “killed”.

One must also keep in mind that the chance to “kill” a game is pretty rare seeing as killable games are so rare in and of themselves. Other than games like Halo, World of Warcraft and Starcraft, there aren’t many other games to kill. These games also tend to be within a few certain genres. After all, it’s not often one hears about a “Bejeweled” killer or a “Mechwarrior” killer. Only a few genres have the power to jump into the mainstream to such an incredible extent. This of course isn’t to say that Bejeweled or games like it aren’t popular, but the violent metaphor tends to lend itself more accurately to violent games.

Will we ever see a Halo or WoW killer? Highly likely. As times and events change, so to do tastes. That being said, it is clear that the creators of these games have been given the mandate to dictate the tastes of gamers for years to come. Ultimately, this forces both the original company and other companies to step their proverbial and literal games up in order to meet the challenge. Most games will fail, others will succeed in their own right, and maybe, just maybe, we will get a game that does finally make a killing blow. Suffice it to say, this game will probably kick ass and you should be glad the game that came before it existed in order to stimulate its arrival.

Let’s talk about some of the developers who were able to extend the distribution of their game through contracts with big companies. Developers that started without knowing if there would be an end, developers that were moved by their passion, and today, bring great experiences for everyone that wants them.

Let’s start with Nuclear Monkey Software, developer who made Narbacular Drop. Narbacular Drop was the Senior game project of students of DigiPen Institute of Technology .

Narbacular Drop

The game had a different mechanic and was so interesting and creative that Valve hired them to make a new version of the game, this time in the Half-Life universe. That was the beginning of Portal’s development, one of the best games of 2007, with a creative gameplay and a funny atmosphere.

Narbacular Drop is not the only one. De Blob (no it’s not the 50’s horror movie) also falls under the category. De Blob is a platformer game, now on Wii.

Again, it’s a student project, but this one took place in Denmark. Seven of the students study Game Design & Development at the school of arts of Utrecht, the other two study computer science. It was a game meant to be played by people that passed by a shop, which attracted people with money enough to release it on Wii.

Your objective on the game? Rolling a giant ball, smashing certain objects for points. No, i’m no talking about Katamari. The difference between the two starts with the reason you’re rolling: You must recolor a grey city, how to get paint? Running over colored civilians. It’s a little hard to explain so I’m going to show you a gameplay video:

De Blob: Katamari and MS Paint united?

There’s lots of examples of games that were created without profit as an objective, and suddenly appeared on the market.

flOw, available for PS3 and PSP, started as an experimental project: why do games have to get harder and harder after each level? Why can’t the player control this rhythm? Made by three students of USC, located in California, and based on those thoughts, the game was able to attract a big company that would go on to release their game.

N+, a sequel to the flash game N, was released for the Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, and PSP.

Eets, first a shareware title, now an XBLA game. Eets has puzzles with simple appearance, but they are intelligent and fun. Easy to learn, hard to beat.

Even if you never thought about it, the world of independent development is getting more and more important for the game industry. Even if you never played one of these underground/alternative/indie games, you can see the effects they are causing on the industry.

Don’t you agree?

Then Microsoft introduced Achievements and the whole thing went to hell in a hand basket.

There is no way I can go on the interwebz and even hint that the Achievement system may have problems without getting flamed, so I’ll go ahead and slip on my Nomex underwear while you follow the cut.

Years ago I played games for fun.  All my friends played games for fun.  All their friends played games for fun.  It was all we had in games.  If a game wasn’t fun what point was there to playing it?

Now, if you look around the Internet you will find several sites dedicated solely to the accumulation of Achievements and GamerScore.  Within these sites resides a new breed of gamer, the “Achievement Whore”.  Everybody has run across this little fellow.  He’s the one who plays constantly, chasing the next increase to his ePenis through GamerScore.  His entire self-worth as a gamer is tied up in a random number that nobody else cares about.  His GamerCard is full of games that offer easy 1000’s, but are usually not worthy of playing past the completion of the GamerScore acquisition.

I am familiar with this type of gamer, because for several weeks I was this gamer.  In late 2007 I started actively trying to increase my GamerScore.  Not a bad thing, in and of itself.  I realized I had crossed the line, however, as I sealed Avatar back up in the GameFly envelope.  Avatar is not really a good game, but has the singular distinction of being able to get the full 1000 points in less than 5 minutes (INCLUDING the intro cut scene).  I had crossed the line to become a gamer that played only for points, not for the game, and I wasn’t alone.  I know there are many people with this game on their cards.

Wait . . . what?  Are we so eager to pad our numbers that we are willing to play games we wouldn’t have thought twice about if they didn’t have Achievements?  Is this the message we want to send to developers and publishers?  Do we really want to reward them by buying and playing games with minimal entertainment value just because they pad our GamerScore easily?  Doing so means we will likely see an increase in these games filling the shelves.  Unfortunately, Avatar isn’t the only game out there guilty of this.  It’s just the most infamous.

Publishers know when a game is weak; they have been doing this long enough that they can tell if a game is likely to be a commercial success because it is good or because it simply has a good license.  Allowing them to pass off generic, poorly designed, poorly programmed games on us simply because they have easy points ensures that they will continue to do so.

This isn’t a problem with the Achievement system, but is really more of a problem with a certain type of player.  If you don’t mind half-assed games with a weak reward system, then by all means be that player.  If, however, you care about your games and want to reward quality, think about the real reason you may be going for those points.   Just remember when you are chasing those points that publishers are watching and taking notes on what you are willing to do to get them.  Don’t tell the publishers we will accept tripe in exchange for points.

Achievements are great, and there is nothing wrong with easy to obtain Achievements as long as the game is fun to play, and gives us a reason to play long enough to get our money’s worth as well.  We should think of Achievements as additional value for a game, as something that enhances the game play experience, not replaces it.