Presenting…

…The Top Five Signs That a DLC Should Have Just Been Free

Brought to you by Fedora Man

Well it finally April and you have to love how easy it is to open an article with the lines “so it’s finally whatever month we’re in right now”. It’s time for the next step in my great journey to earn money through a video game blog. Now I know you might be wondering “I thought you had billions! Were you lying to me?” The answer is of course, no. Stupid. Why would I make something like that up? But the difference between that money and the money I’ll earn on this site is I actually had to do work to earn it, unlike my corporation where I really don’t do any work at all. I can show all my friend “yeah this is the ten dollars I earned THROUGH WORK!” and if they say that they also have a job and have made more money, I’ll pull out my emergency one million dollars that I always keep stashed in my pants and laugh at them, probably while rubbing the money all over myself.

Now I’m sure that everyone reading this right now loves to hear all the stories that end with me rubbing money all over myself (and there are a lot of them) but now is neither the time, nor the place for me to describe my achievements to the world. Mainly because I think that might blow my secret identity and also I don’t think anyone would let me post an article called “The Top Five Ways to Rub Money All Over Yourself Like a Pro”. Instead I’m going to write about some game related phenomena, but only because I have to.

That brings me to my greatest problem: what the hell am I going to write about? There aren’t any games coming out these days (according to me) and writing about one specific past game has been done by everyone and their grandma. At first I was thinking “Heroes of Might and Magic 2, everyone will love to hear about that!” before moving to and idea about specific overrated games. Then one night I was staying up late to try to perfect the insertion of a giant blade into my fedora. Some might call that an oddjob rip off, but those same people might find it hard to speak when, say, a razor-bladed hat cuts their entire mouth off. Anyway it was around 6 am that I decided “screw it I’m too tired to think up a new idea” and settled for this one.

Now if you’re like me (and you’re not at all like me) then you too have expressed frustration at some of the worst excuses for DLC (downloadable content if you somehow made it to this point in the article without knowing what that is) ever made. That’s not to say that all DLC is bad and that it should all be free because there are small amounts of DLC that actually seem to have been worked hard on and deserve some sort of monetary reimbursement (the shivering isles for Oblivion is the first thing that comes to mind). Of course for every shivering isles there are hundreds of “screw you, give me all your money” DLCs or as I like to affectionately call them “dog shit”. I’m sure that this isn’t just at 360 problem, it’s probably also a problem with the PS3 but I wouldn’t know now would I? So here are the signs to identify if the dog shit you just bought should have been free.

Number 5: When the DLC is Free Anyway

Example: Call of Duty 4: Variety Map Pack

This is probably the one that isn’t about dog shit (I’m very much hoping the editor doesn’t take offense to that word being used over and over again). This is one of the cases where the DLC might actually be good but in any case it isn’t free even when say, THEY OFFER IT FOR FREE ANYWAY!

Take the above example for instance. The Call of Duty 4 map pack was offered for free via a code in the Game of the Year Edition. The cost of the Game of the Year Edition is exactly the same as the original game so you’d think they’d start offering the map pack for free, right? Wrong (as always)! I’m not exactly sure why they’d do this (other than the obvious “I want more money” approach) yet it seems like around the time they started offering free map packs they’d just go ahead and put it out for free on the marketplace anyway. There’s only one possible explanation: to piss off hat-based crime fighters.

Hell, that reminds me; before I go on I’d like to tell a little story about my experience with these “free” maps. It started like any other day, random death hurricanes mixed with volcanoes and a zombie apocalypse, you know, nothing special. So I decided that I’d go and get Call of Duty 4 because I was in a crime fighting slump (only because I imprisoned all my enemies) and so I decided to blow off some steam by mercilessly killing people on the internet. I picked out my game and brought it to the Gamestop counter where the cashier was like “I’ll give you the game of the year edition, it doesn’t cost anymore and it gives you free maps.” So I was like “sweet free maps, thanks you pimply faced bastard, I’ll be sure not to violently attack you in the future over game prices.” So as I got back home I opened the box… nothing. There was a game and an instruction booklet but that pimply faced sonofabitch lied to me! There wasn’t any map code at all! Now my first reaction was to don my fedora and jacket/trench coat (have to protect my secret identity) and go back to that store to kick all kinds of ass. But I’m a detective too and my detective-like instincts told me that it probably wasn’t that pimply faced bastard’s fault. Using my fedora-shaped super computer I quickly got confirmation that this had happened to many other people as well. In the end, after a brief bout with tech support that should have just began and ended with the word “bastard” I never got my maps. I’m just waiting for the time that they become free, WHICH THEY NEVER WILL!

Number 4: When the Game in Question has a Sequel

Example: Call of Duty 4: Variety Map Pack

Call of Duty again? Really? Well that’s just an example; there are many games like this. Again this isn’t necessarily dog shit but I promise that the next one will be about dog shit, you dog shit enthusiast you. Anyway the reason I claim that the DLC (which may or may not be dog shit to appease all you crazy people) should be free once a sequel comes out because sales probably drop rapidly over time once the sequel hits stores. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works, but don’t take my word on it, it’s not like I know a lot about business (although I do run a multi-billion dollar business in my free time). I don’t think anyone is rushing out to go buy Halo 2, or Mario Party 3 (despite how awesome Mario Party 3 was) so I’ve taken this rule and applied it to damn near any other game. Maybe I can understand not immediately making it free but in the above example Call of Duty 5 (or Call of Duty: whatever the hell they’re calling it these days) has been out for nearly half a year and I doubt that the Call of Duty 4 will have those free maps in another four or five months time. Granted the two were made by different developers but that’s beside the point. Give me the free maps! I demand it!

Number 3: When the DLC Doesn’t Add Anything Special to the Game

Example: Bomberman Live: Bomb-Up Packs

So NOW we’re talking about dog shit. Again I’m hoping the editor doesn’t come to my house and challenge me to a fist fight for using that so often. In any case I could talk about this in depth but the name says it all. The dog shit doesn’t add a whole lot to the game so it should be free on the grounds that I don’t want to pay you to add pretty much nothing to the overall gameplay.

Take my above example… for example (does that even work?) Bomberman’s bomb-up packs should definitely have been free or just included it in the original game. With the pack comes a bunch of gametypes and maps no one online plays anyway (we’re all too busy playing on the good starting maps with the non-stupid game variants to care). It’s like opening a gift on Christmas to get a playstation 2, a gamecube, or an xbox when you already have the better console. But gosh there’s really not more to say about it, maybe I’m complaining too much or maybe… just maybe… you’re not complaining enough.

Number 2: When the DLC is Just a Little Polish to an Otherwise Bland Turd Sandwich

Example: Crackdown (whatever that weapon pack is called)

I wanted to research what the dog shit was called here to retain my journalistic and genius vigilante integrity but I honestly didn’t care. Now let me set one thing straight, whereas Number 3 on the list (the one you just read if you read like a normal human being or super being) was about something that should be free based on the fact that it added little to a good game, this one is about DLC which could be good or bad that adds little to a horrible game. That’s right; I beat the system by having ALMOST identical but still slightly different types of DLC on display. Wooh!

Anyway I’m sure you (yes you, the guy in the red baseball cap) can think of a ton of DLC and games like this, but let’s go with my example because I already took the time to write it down. Now Crackdown wasn’t THAT bad of a game… okay yeah it was. The whole game was GTA or Saints Row with a ton of collection and not a lot of anything else. Shooting civilians was a power-up losing crime too, so there goes all the random slaughtering fun. The goal of the game is to collect orbs and kill a bunch of bad guys. You’re basically like Super Man except with a gun (or a slightly more athletic Fedora Man, with super powers, a gun, and no awesome hat). So after the fun of jumping around rooftops and shooting people wears off about six hours into the game what’s left to do? Well Realtime Worlds (the developers) has the answer in the form of a content pack sure to add a couple more hours of fun to the game. You get a weapon like the harpoon gun which is cool in that you can fire harpoons at people and stick them to cars and buildings and trees and other people. Where was the downside again? Oh right the fact that there’s a fuggin’ price tag associated with it. What the hell?! I paid sixty dollars for your game! There is no way in hell I’m going to spend six to ten dollars more to make your game NOT suck as much. You may think I’m being a little frustrated this time, because if there’s anything Fedora Man is known for its definitely not violent outbursts of vigilante justice. But that’s what happens when you stay up too late and you keep slicing off your fingers with your stupid razor-blade lined hat that STILL DOESN’T WORK!

But hey let’s look on the bright side. I’d like to take this time to get away from all the anger and pessimism and quickly point out Left 4 Dead. It’s a decent game, not too bad, not too good. But it appears that they’re coming out with DLC soon to make the game better. You know what I like the most about it without even having to look up gameplay videos on youtube? The fact that valve decided to not be a bunch of assholes and release the DLC free. So there, at least I tried to make this article slightly happier with a contrast between dog shit and decent DLC, as well as decent business practices in general.

Number 1: When the DLC in Question Sucks

Example: Too many to count

Damn even the example is a little depressing. There’s like a sea of dog shit out there (not literally you creep) and you know a DLC should be free when the DLC itself sucks. Really, this one ties into every other group category. By now you must be wondering “is there some kind of evil video game-themed villain out there causing all the DLC in the world to suck?” Well no, there was once, but he died in 1983 when the video game crash happened. It was weird and sad because the one thing he was trying to destroy was the only thing keeping him alive. Once the games became bad enough the crash happened and he died. It’s tragic, which is why I’m writing a play about it. I’m thinking of starring the lead role to Adam West and maybe get Jackie Chan in there somehow; we’ll have to see how it turns out.

Anyway there’s really not much more to say but hell I have time to kill in between creating my razor-bladed fedora and fighting demons from beyond time and space. So I’ll start with a little known game called Halo 2 (does anyone remember this game?). Halo 2 had four or five map packs, with the last one having two levels “Desolation” and “turd sandwich” or… something like that, I can’t remember (and I refuse to look it up). Anyway both were remakes and both were TERRIBLE. Although I’m not ashamed to own the Halo series, I am deeply ashamed to have put any money down toward this map pack. Turd sandwich was a terrible level and desolation was… also terrible (cut me some slack I’m tired AND I saved the world yesterday, shut up). Look I’ll give you another example: Halo 3. Halo 3 (and I use the halo series because of its general accessibility so people know what I’m talking about) had the “Heroic map pack” which was so bloody awful that I had to think twice before ever purchasing any kind of map pack EVER AGAIN! It was like they had a staff meeting but only three people showed up and they left after five minutes after someone said “but think about the customers” and someone else responded with “screw the customers!”

I’ll give you one more you might not have thought about: gamer pictures. Yeah those things, you actually have to pay for them. I think I’ll leave it at that instead of pointing out the crippling stupidity in paying for tiny pictures rather than picking up a fedora to hide your identity and going out to vigilante the shit out of the gaming industry.

1: DLC: DLC is not bad in and of itself. DLC is a good way to both add features, fix bugs and continue to provide several different kinds of support to your customer. Games like LittleBigPlanet offer things as big as new levels and new creation tools as well as things as small as costumes. Games like Burnout Paradise offer free cars, levels and modes and for free no less. Not every company is out to rip you off and take your money. HOWEVER, when companies abuse this system, that is complete bull and definitely worth complaining about. Case in point: EA’s “Time is Money” DLC. 5 Dollars to unlock all of the accessories in Skate 2. 5 dollars for a cheat code is unacceptable, don’t buy that or I will come and beat the game for you to save you the money. I could also say the same thing about Capcom, who saw fit to charge 20 dollars for extra costumes that are already included on the disk, but I want the beauty pack so I won’t =/

2: BROWN AND BLOOM SHOOTERS: Team Fortress 2, Resistance 2, The Darkness (ironic, isn’t it), Halo 3, the list goes on. Yes, there is a meta-trend towards more gritty and realistic shooters, no that isn’t a bad thing. If any thing, it is a reaction to all of the arcadey shooters we had before hand or all the uber-hero World War 2 games we had before. Face it, we have trends. Trends create anti-trends. Everyone gets a game they want, everyone wins.

3: Exorbitant Waiting/Development Times: The HD era has increased development times. I won’t deny this. However, there are several mitigating facts not the least of which are tons of sweet games on the PSN or XBLA. Then of course you have the Wii which provides you with an ample amount of ROM’s to pay for, as well as the fact that there are many more quality developers and publishers out there cranking out more games than ever before. You may have to wait a long time for Final Fantasy XIII, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t plenty of other good games to play.

4: Too Many Sandbox Games: Sandboxes are another meta-trend in the gaming industry. Sandboxes suck right? Wrong. If anything, they have gotten better. Games like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and Oblivion provided the player colossal worlds with absolutely nothing worth doing in them. Grand Theft Auto IV and Fallout 3 reduced the size of the world (while still keeping it adequately large) and proceeded to actually populate the land with people and things with which you could interact in meaningful ways. An unfortunate bi-product of the sandbox craze is that some games which would probably be better in a linear setting get developed according to a trend rather than its strengths. However, if these developers screw up their games and end up failing? Oh well, move on with life. Yes a good game might be lost in the process, no I don’t give a damn, plenty of other good games out there.

5: THIS GENERATION DOESN’T HAVE GOOD GAMES: Stop being ignorant. If you want to be blind to the fact that there are hundreds of good games out there, be my guest. There may not be the sheer quantity of games, but that also has to do with the fact that this generation has only just started. If this generation sucks that bad, go back to playing SNES, I won’t miss your complaining. Old console games have a lot fewer moving parts in them, which makes a game that capitalizes on them seemingly perfect. Games like Megaman 2 which do everything correctly achieve godlike status, but to compare them to modern day games and say the old ones are fun is simply ridiculous. If anything, modern day games should have more of a penchant for fun. If a game with more moving parts manages to execute them all properly, shouldn’t it be better than old games? Hell, XBLA and the PSN provide us with these sort of games all the time! Good ol’ nostalgia.

I had an Atari. Most of the people playing video games don’t know what that is. I’m not saying my opinion is right because I was there, I’m saying my opinion is right because I don’t have the flaccid penis of nostalgia in my mouth. The last generation gave birth to games that I will never forget. So did the one before that, the one before that and the one before that. This one will be no different. How about instead of all this rage you just go and play the vidya, wouldn’t that be super?

February 3, 2009 (360) / February 5, 2009 (PS3)

Thin Lizzy Pack 01 ($5.50 / 440 MSP or $2 / 160 MSP each)

• Thin Lizzy – Boys Are Back In Town (Live)
• Thin Lizzy – Jailbreak (Live)
• Thin Lizzy – Cowboy Song (Live)

Singles ($2 / 160 MSP each)

• Pat Benatar – Hit Me With Your Best Shot
• The Pretenders – Precious

Singles ($1 / 80 MSP each)

• Nikko – Don’t Tell Me
• Nikko – Break My Heart

Videos and tier information after the break.

This week’s giving us some good tracks! Thin Lizzy 01 is three songs from a “new” live album being released this year, but actually recorded in 1977. Everyone knows Hit Me With Your Best Shot, and the other tracks are solid, despite being an album filler song and two Nickelodeon songs.

Thin Lizzy – Boys Are Back In Town (Live)

Album: Still Dangerous – Live At The Tower Theatre Philadelphia 1977 (2009)
Full Band: Tier 3
Guitar: Tier 4
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 1
Bass: Tier 4
Notes: Everyone should recognize this song by its opening riff. Should be an amazing guitar song!

Thin Lizzy – Jailbreak (Live)

Album: Still Dangerous – Live At The Tower Theatre Philadelphia 1977 (2009)
Full Band: Tier 3
Guitar: Tier 4
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 1
Bass: Tier 2
Notes: This song’s just as good as Boys Are Back, even if you’ve never heard of it. Again, guitar is the highlight.

Thin Lizzy – Cowboy Song (Live)

Album: Still Dangerous – Live At The Tower Theatre Philadelphia 1977 (2009)
Full Band: Tier 3
Guitar: Tier 4
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 3
Bass: Tier 2
Notes: Also not as well-known; also just as good. This one’s a little trickier to sing. Pick up this entire pack!

Pat Benatar – Hit Me With Your Best Shot

Album: Crimes of Passion (1980)
Full Band: Tier 1
Guitar: Tier 3
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 1
Bass: Tier 0
Notes: Guitar should be a bit harder than the cover in Guitar Hero III. Drums have some fun fills. Definitely worth picking up for the “oh, I know that song!” factor.

The Pretenders – Precious

Audio preview @ playlist.com

Album: Pretenders (1980)
Full Band: Tier 2
Guitar: Tier 3
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 5
Bass: Tier 3
Notes: The Pretenders’ label is hardcore about this song not appearing anywhere on YouTube. This song’s vocals will destroy you, though it’s worth singing for the “shitting bricks” line, and the bass is fairly interesting. Drums are annoying in the fast-and-repetitive way, but some of the patterns are all right.

Nikko – Don’t Tell Me

Album: Spectacular! (2009)
Full Band: Tier 2
Guitar: Tier 2
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 2
Bass: Tier 1
Notes: Both of the “Nikko” songs are from am upcoming Nickelodeon (see what they did there?) direct-to-TV movie, making them effectively the same as “Get Your Rock On”, back in August. This one is actually all right, because (or in spite of) a very new-All-American-Rejects-album feel. Get it, it’s only $1.

Nikko – Break My Heart

Album: Spectacular! (2009)
Full Band: Tier 2
Guitar: Tier 3
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 2
Bass: Tier 2
Notes: The lesser of these two songs. A potentially catchy swing beat is ruined by sheer annoyance. Might still be worth getting because it’s $1, though.

Credit to IGN for all tier information. Keep up with the Master Song List to stay updated. See you next week!

It is 2006. Several years of inconsistent announcements, numerous delays and a growing association with Duke Nukem Forever indicates that an actual release of Team Fortress 2 is extremely unlikely. Then from out of the blue Gabe Newell (managing director of Valve) thrusts a teaser trailer into our faces confirming that TF2 is indeed on its way. Sporting a venturesome art style with what appeared to be innovative game play, the new look TF2 quickly soared to the top of many “most anticipated” lists. Launching in October of 2007, it became an instant favourite among reviewers, achieving a plethora of awards alongside its partner in success The Orange Box.

As an avid PC gamer, the desire for a new class based multiplayer game was immense. I desperately needed to escape the grenade spamming insta-prone aids festivity that was Battlefield 2. To my delight, and many other likeminded gamers, TF2 delivered just that. Besides the attractive stylized graphics and often comical game play, it shipped with a secret weapon, one which would inevitably be the key to TF2’s ongoing success and development.

Steam, the popular content delivery service functions as the core of TF2, supplying speedy updates and flawless content delivery. Gamer profiles and statistic pages are accessible through a simple yet faultless social network. Hell, you can even browse the web in-game using the Steam overlay. It is undoubtable TF2 would not be as popular as it is on PC today, if it was not for Steam. This is clear when we examine the unfortunate situation our console brethren currently face, which I’ll touch on a little later.

February 14^th – Badlands Released – New point Cappan.

The very first major content update came in the form of a new map labelled “Badlands”. Among all the commotion, servers popped up all over the place boasting [24/7 Badlands] tags. Well received by most, cp_Badlands now holds the 6th position for the most played map by hours.

April 29^th – The Medic update – Medic rush.

Valve had announced this update a month before release, leaving us to both speculate and look forward to the addition of 3 new medic weapons and 39 unique achievements. If that was not enough to get your average TF2 gamer salivating with glee, Valve announced a brand new game mode and map, which was to be released alongside the medic update. An exclusive trailer featured a fly through of the new Payload Game-mode map “Goldrush”. And so on the 29^th of April the masses crammed into 24/7 Goldrush servers, where two teams of 12 medics would heal each other in a race to unlock the new weapons. After a short while the medic hysteria eventually died down, but Goldrush fever never ended. Proving tremendously popular, the new Game-mode in conjunction with pl_Goldrush still holds the number 1 position for most played map by hours. With the inclusion of the achievement-unlock system, we saw the birth of [Achievement] servers. My medic stats are still out of proportion from succumbing to the temptation of gaining the new unlocks early.

June 19^th 2008 – The Pyro update – W + M1 Syndrome.

Again the Pyro pack was announced around a month before release. Valve stated that the Pyro was not only to receive the extra weapons but also major tweaking which included improved hit detection and a compression blast feature for the default flamethrower. Also 38 new achievements and a couple new maps made it in. Was not the best time for spies.

August 19^th 2008 – The Heavy update – “The heavy is a spy!”

A joyous occasion for medics and spies, the heavy update introduced 3 new weapons, 35 achievements and a new game-mode. The new Arena game mode played out much like a match of counter strike. Essentially its sudden death played in a smaller map than usual, an Arena. Sections of existing maps were used as arenas, as well as two never before seen maps. Lumberyard is most notable as it introduced a new “Alpine” setting. Arena was not as well received as the Payload game-mode and over time seems to of sunk towards the lower end of the spectrum. The second payload map named “Badwater Basin” was also ushered into play.

December 11^th 2008 – Mini Engineer Update – Not really major but content none the less.

Not officially hyped but well received was the miniature update to Engineers. Dispensers and Teleporters now had the option to be upgraded to level 3. Yielding faster Teleport recharge time and an increased amount of health and metal gained from dispensers. Also the option to have the status of your achievements tracked via a progress bar on the HUD was added (is that some mmo influence Gabe?). Making those hard to get achievements even more fun, oh god I love that ding. Spies were also given the ability to recharge their cloak by picking up ammo.

??? 2008 – Scout update – Double jumpan n’ bonkan

Announced but not fully revealed is the scout update. Set for an early 2009 release we can expect 3 new scout weapons, the additional achievements and perhaps a new Game-mode. Rumour has it the new game-mode could be “Hunted”, but I wouldn’t hold my breath. The theme from most recent interviews with Valve staff is that spies and engineers will most likely be getting total revamps in the future as well. So much stuff to come, I can’t wait bro!

Just like any other game, it does get repetitive with time. But the regular release of content is the magnet that keeps us coming back for more, and acts as a breath of fresh air for the loyal veterans. Unfortunately the same can’t be said for the TF2 console players. Some good news though, Valve is preparing to port all the current updates and new content to the Xbox 360. Though Microsoft having made US $10 million from the CoD4 map pack. Have learnt they can swindle desperate console friends into paying for content which is otherwise free on PC. Originally Valve was not going to charge for the updates, but they believe the price will be justified as there will be only a single payment required for the entire downloadable package.

Call of duty 4 was included in the graph for update comparisons only, as both games were released around the same time. Although CoD4 is played by more (and there are certain reasons for that) it will be interesting to see which game stands the test of time, and is being played 3 years from now. I know which one I’ll be playing.

-LJ

January 27, 2009 (360) / January 29, 2009 (PS3)

Grateful Dead Pack 02 ($10 / 800 MSP or $2 / 160 MSP each)

• Grateful Dead – Hell In a Bucket
• Grateful Dead – Don’t Ease Me In
• Grateful Dead – Cold Rain and Snow
• Grateful Dead – Doin’ That Rag
• Grateful Dead – Fire On the Mountain
• Grateful Dead – Uncle John’s Band

Videos and tier information after the break.

Everyone’s familiar with the Dead by now, especially after the inclusion of Alabama Getaway on-disc for RB2. This pack will put us up to 13 Dead songs, making them one of the most-represented bands in the Rock Band library. (AC/DC, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Pixies, and The Who all have more songs.) The constant joke is that you have to be stoned off your ass to enjoy their songs, but as Grateful Dead 01 proved, that’s…only partially true. This pack should have at least one download for everyone, unless you’re one of the idiotic metalheads that spams DLC threads with useless drivel. But I digress.

Grateful Dead – Hell In a Bucket

Album: In the Dark (1987)
Full Band: Tier 4
Guitar: Tier 3
Drums: Tier 4
Vocals: Tier 6
Bass: Tier 3
Notes: Tier 6 vocals! Not really like any of our existing GD songs. Drum part sounds very fun.

Grateful Dead – Don’t Ease Me In

Album: Go to Heaven (1980)
Full Band: Tier 3
Guitar: Tier 3
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 1
Bass: Tier 4
Notes: Vaguely like Truckin’. Hopefully its drum chart will be much better.

Grateful Dead – Cold Rain and Snow

Album: The Grateful Dead (1967)
Full Band: Tier 3
Guitar: Tier 2
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 1
Bass: Tier 5
Notes: A very mellow song. Challenging bass part.

Grateful Dead – Doin’ That Rag

Album: Aoxomoxoa (1969)
Full Band: Tier 4
Guitar: Tier 2
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 6
Bass: Tier 4
Notes: More T6 vocals! This one seems pretty drugged out, but solid. Guitar seems okay for a T2.

Grateful Dead – Fire on the Mountain

Album: Shakedown Street (1978)
Full Band: Tier 3
Guitar: Tier 2
Drums: Tier 4
Vocals: Tier 0
Bass: Tier 0
Notes: One of the more radio-friendly songs in this pack. Almost a reggae feel. Very mellow.

Grateful Dead – Uncle John’s Band

Album: Workingman’s Dead (1970)
Full Band: Tier 2
Guitar: Tier 2
Drums: Tier 3
Vocals: Tier 0
Bass: Tier 1
Notes: A lot of people won’t like this one. Kind of a Beatles sound, but not quite. Kind of a “meh” song overall.

Credit to IGN for all tier information. As usual, the Master Song List is available for reference. Check back next week for more DLC previews!

On the Same day they’re releasing the Party Pack, they’re making available an update, which includes an in-game website and an in-game store. Pretty cool, huh?! No? Well, they’ve also updated the visuals, game modes, and “the entire vehicle dynamics system.”

Kinda’ cool? Still just feeling lukewarm, huh?

Well, how about a RESTART FEATURE, FUCK YEAH!

For anyone who’s ever played the game, a failed event due to a random chance or fluke can be quite frustrating. That frustration is only escalated when you have to drive all the way back to the other side of the map just to try the event again. Well, feel the alleviation, my friends! No longer do you have to steer through the drive of shame!

I’m particularly excited, as I’ve just recently begun the game anew as discussed in our first podcast.

Of course, in addition to all the goodies, they’ve included a new, short, video podcast that shows off their first paid content, which actually alleviates some of my fears of purchasing products with cash money.

Click to see some rad cars.

It’s been said before, but why can’t all developers be like Criterion?

What ho, vault dwellers. Having a buggy time in Fallout 3? Well, no matter what your version of it is, things should be looking up right about now, as Bethesda has just released a very big patch update for the post-apocalyptic RPG. Yes, they just released it yesterday, and it fixes whatever flavor of the game you’ve got: the PC, the PS3, and even the Xbox 360 one. It’s also available in five different languages (English, French, German, Italian, and Spanish) and will be required to play the upcoming DLC pack that’s slated for January 27, Operation: Anchorage.

Here’s a list of the fixes:

Bug Fixes
Friends notification no longer causes the game to pause. (Playstation 3)
Fixed occasional crashes during loading and waiting.
Friendly or neutral NPC health bars, when taking damage, no longer flicker repeatedly.
Fixed issue where certain NPCs would occasionally disappear from the game.
Fixed issue where dead NPCs would occasionally come back to life.
Fixed rendering issue with the Gatling Laser gun’s tracers.
Fixed issue where the haircut menu would occasionally not appear properly.
Added ability to remap your VATS and pip boy buttons.
Fixed rare load/save issues that would cause NPCs to behave incorrectly.
Fixed issue where quest objectives would occasionally not update properly due to talking activators,
intercoms and conversations.
Using Radaway from the Pip-Boy’s Status Menu repeatedly no longer crashes the game.
Player no longer gets stuck in level up menu if their skills are maxed out.
Fixed issue where multiple followers would occasionally not load into an interior.
Fixed rare issue with getting stuck in VATS mode.
Fixed rare crash with fighting NPCs with corrupted data.
In game radios will now play properly if player was listening to the radio in the Pip-Boy first. (Playstation 3)
Fixed rare crashes while loading and saving games.
Fixed rare issue where player would fall through the floor while in VATS.
Fixed occasional crash after scoring a critical hit in the head with a Railway Rifle.
Prevent NPCs from inadvertently dying from falling.
Fixed occasional issue where the controller would stop working properly.
Fixed crashes related to repeatedly equipping and dropping clothing and armor into the world.
Quest Fixes
Fixed several instances where quest item stayed in inventory permanently after completing quests.
Fixed an issue where the distress message would occasionally not play in Trouble on the Homefront.
In The Waters of Life quest, the Citadel gate will open properly if the player fast travels away after exiting the Taft Tunnels but before reaching the Citadel gate with Doctor Li.
For the Home Sweet Home quest, the broken protectrons in Big Town become active at the proper time.
In The American Dream quest, fixed specific issue which prevented the player from accessing their belongings in the locker by the door if they left the room first.
Fixed infinite caps exploit in Strictly Business quest.
Fixed rare instance where Dad would have no valid dialogue during The Waters of Life quest.Prevent issue during the Finding the Garden of Eden quest where player would fade to black, instead of traveling to Raven Rock, while in combat with a follower.
Fixed several XP speech exploits with certain NPCs.
Fixed XP exploit with a robot in Fort Bannister.
Fixed issue where player’s controls can become locked permanently during The American Dream.

When I first heard about the Microsoft Xbox and all the potential it was going to have in an EGM article, I was particularly thrilled. It had some pictures of games that looked like they could have been on the PC, like a very free form house sim and an RTS. The Sega Dreamcast was still around at the time and kicking up some heat, so I was all about the alternative market. It touted developer-friendly SDKs that would allow even upstart developers to get their heads around the device, opening up an even greater market for interesting and unique games. To this end, the games wouldn’t cost as much, but would garner profit from things like micro-payments for additional game content. At the time, I thought that might be doable, but I didn’t like the idea of paying an additional fee for a product that normally had one set price, but if the products were cheaper, then it might be worth the cost of admission.

Flash forward to 2009 and how are we doing? It’s not exactly the utopia of video games. Games are actually more expensive than ever, First Person Shooters and Brown games dominate the market, and DLC that was originally promised to cost less than a dollar is actually rarely below 5 Goddamn Dollars, unless you’re buying a song that you can only use within the game franchise you purchase it for, then that costs twice as much as it would were you buying it in an actually useful format. Even buying lame-ass seasonal outfits costs two dollars. You’re lucky if you even know what you’re buying in these costume “packs”. I bought the Halloween set for Soul Calibur IV for two dollars American, only to find that it contained merely a pumpkin head and a recoloring of Tira’s outfit.

I am the biggest jackass. Two Dollars. Micro-payments, my ass.

The game ran me sixty dollars and came with close to 500 unique sets of equipment not to mention the actual fucking game on top of that. I’m just getting so tired of feeling swindled.

What sparked this outburst in me was the recent detailing of Mirror’s Edge’s DLC, apparently to be released January 29th and cost $10. I won’t get into the fact that Microsoft uses an age-old method of disguising the price with “points” all but stating that they think their consumers are retards. Here’s a trailer of the DLC if you have no idea what I’m talking about:

It’s a well-edited trailer, but it really can’t disguise the fact that these look like levels created in a bare-bones level editor that couldn’t even stand up to LittleBigPlanet, and at least those levels are free. On top of that, there’s only 3 levels in this $10 expansion. That is 1/100th of the levels that were included in the Metal Gear Solid: VR Missions, which you could get by itself at a low price or you could get it packed with the game (for PC) for the same price as the standalone Metal Gear Solid.

Ridiculous.

I’m not asking for a lot. Just try to be reasonable. I will gladly pay money for a good product, but I refuse to be fucked in the ass repeatedly (once or twice is okay). I’d be willing to pay a dollar per professionally designed level or costume pack. And you know, it couldn’t hurt to release a level for free every now and then, just to show people what you’re selling is worth it. Epic Games released a pack for the PS3 that included 3 exceptionally well-done levels that didn’t cost a cent. If their next pack included ten sweet levels at the cost of 5 to 10 dollars, I would not hesitate to give them their well-deserved cash, cold-hard.

Please, developers, publishers, distributers, whoever: destroy this rusty business model before you bury the industry under your lackluster products. I’m begging you.

Here it is!

THREEEEEEEEEDOG, Bethesda released the Garden of Eden Creation Kit (G.E.C.K. ) for PC players, the G.E.C.K. is basically a developer kit that gives players access to game tools so that they may create their own content for the game.

Woo! Bethesda would have made a pretty grave error if they decided not to release it. I mean, yes, Fallout 3 is a great stand-alone game but with the addition of the modding community, this game can become much more than it currently is. I mean look at Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, the game itself was mediocre at best, but once combined with the modding community, Oblivion changed for the better, adding new quests, new factions, new places, and revamping many of Oblivion’s systems for the better.

So my question to you, the readers, is what would you like to see in terms of mods for Fallout 3?

Personally I think one of the musts is more radio stations, because I’d love to get more music while I’m kick some ass in the wastelands.

Weapons? I’d like to see some unique guns, nothing from anime or from movies, something original maybe even more realistic, something that really bugged me in Fallout 3 was that the upgraded versions of normal weapons looked the exact same as the normal weapons. You know like I went to get the Terrible Shotgun, I found it, equiped it, and it’s the exact same. I thought with a name like TERRIBLE Shotgun you’d have skulls hanging off it or at least some kind of design on it. With the addition of the G.E.C.K. to the game, this will most likely be fixed in no time.

Now that's a special weapon

Places? Eh, I’d like to see a new town, or maybe a stronghold. Yeah, a stronghold of robots, that after the apocalypse decided to rebel against man and start anew. Kind of building on that A.I. side quest.

As for general improvements, I’d like to see a bit of color added to the wasteland. I know apocalypse setting = auto brown and gray but it’d be nice to see a bit more variety, because when I’m strolling around, exploring, and listening to some Butcher Pete, I’d like to see more than rock, rock, rock, more rocks, highway, rock.

I’m happy to know that within a few weeks of months, Fallout 3 will be much improved.

So what about you? What’d you like to see?

Criterion, the creators behind the Burnout series, have been nothing but awesome so far. Not only did they deliver on their promises for Burnout Paradise on the first go – a massive free-roaming city with hundreds of secrets and thousands of car-wrecking possibilities – but they’ve been spoiling us with free downloadable content that any other game developer would be forcing us to pay through the nose for.  While we’ve been enjoying that, we can’t help but feel guilty about it. Thankfully they’ve given us an opportunity to give back to them what little we could, with the very first purchasable downloadable content pack that they’re busting out, and even then it’s literally a steal.

Presenting: the Burnout Paradise Big Surf Island DLC pack!

What’s the big deal about Big Surf Island, anyway? Well for one, it’s a huge island that connects to Paradise City, and its emphasis is letting you grab the biggest amount of air possible with your car via its ridiculously-awesome jumps. Here’s the statement from Criterion themselves:

Big Surf is the culmination of everything we learned creating Paradise City, and we want it to bring you a truly spectacular new experience – the highlight of a year of incredible premium content. Burnout already delivers incredible value for money – literally hundreds of hours of gameplay with your original disk or PSN purchase, plus more with the free Cagney Pack and free Burnout Paradise Bikes.

Awesome, Criterion. Why can’t other game developers be like you?