Voice acting in video games was once an enthralling, amazing, almost unheardof thing.  It was pretty awesome to hear ‘VALKYRIE SHOT THE FOOD’ come from a Gameboy’s mono speaker.  Yeah, I saw that shit-eating grin, you remember.

As technology grew though, it became more and more common to have soundbytes of your hero screaming and yelling, and eventually games became fully voiced.  There are ups and downs to such things that I won’t discuss here, ’cause that’s best left to an article dedicated thereto.  Here, I wanna discuss Star Fox.

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I often remember the N64 being the best console I ever owned, that isn’t to say that this generation is complete shit, but it lacks that certain pizzaz that we had back in the days of the Playstation 1, the N64, and the Sega Dreamcast (rest in peace). I often also find myself remembering back to some of the great games that I really enjoyed when I had owned an N64. This is one of those rememberances.

Racing games nowadays seem to be more about who can be more realistic in terms of car dynamics and have the best graphics. What ever happened to games like Carmaggedon, Twisted Metal, Star Wars Episode 1: Pod Racer, and Extreme G. Shoot, what ever happened to games like Road Rash? Road Rash was probably one of the best experiences I had with a racing game because it wasn’t afriad to push the boundaries what’s acceptable.

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CPL, CAL, MLG, WGS, TWL, ED, i38.. stop me if you’re getting bored already. Here, I will attempt to provide you all a little insight into what ‘Pro’ gaming actually is, the people– the money (or lack thereof), the fame and the failures.

2009 is the year, and we’ve got teams all over the bloody shop. MeetYourMakers, Fnatic, Complexity 20ID, Salvo, Dignitas, 4K, Reason and the list trails off into the ether with some successful.. and some less successful pro gaming teams. What does this mean? Does this mean professional gaming is now viable as a career? Can you earn money for headshots in todays world? Will I ever stop name dropping? How many commas can I write before you close this tab? Hit the jump to find out. (continue reading…)

Z-targeting was what helped the first 3D Zelda be a success

Innovation is a hard thing to come by. Are we really running out of ideas? Sure there are some original games out there, but how many Nazis do I have to kill, how many touchdowns do I have to score, and how many times do I have to rescue the princess? I’m not trying to say some of it isn’t not fun, I’ve just noticed it has become the same game each time. Whatever happened to good old innovation?

The transition from 2D to 3D on the Nintendo 64 in most cases was pure genius. You cannot deny how awesome it was to roam Princess Peach’s castle for the first time in all three dimensions, or Z-targetting your first enemy then striking him down with your sword. It was not just Nintendo who achieved this, Sony did it with their blockbuster Metal Gear Solid by breaking the fourth wall and laying the foundation for stealth games for years to come.

Newer attempts at innovation have been scarce (Portal), and some even failed (Lair, Wii Music). What happened? Are we really so money focused that developers have become lazy? This could possibly be to blame on the “casual” market, with games containing simple gameplay and user friendliness. A unique story can add to innovation, just look at Chrono Trigger. Unlike the million Final Fantasy spinoffs, the single Chrono Trigger game has been constantly praised for never aging, and that the story is what sets it apart.

I feel its time for developers to stop and think about what made gaming truly great: fun.

My N64 had the crap used out of it. I played that thing so much, one broke and I used a spare. My 64 got all the love. I had tons of games. I mowed lawns and did chores and everything I could to make money to buy those games. Anyway, let me tell you about a few games that you’d have to be insane to not play.

Rocket: Robot on Wheels

This game was made by the creators of Sly Cooper. I dunno about you, but those games were pretty good.

Naturally, so was this. You play as a young robot set to watch over the new theme park “Wallyworld” while the owner goes to a party, but after he leaves, the costar of the show steals the spotlight,  knocks poor Rocket out cold and steals the mascot. You have to collect tokens, tickets and save the  park by getting upgrades and solving puzzles. This game is amazing and had great controls to boot.
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Yes, even the Xbox has good games to play. Not many, though. Thankfully, I’m here to tell you a few for that hulking black monster. Let’s take a dive.

Stubbs the Zombie in:

Rebel Without a Pulse

FINALLY A USE FOR HALO. Hoho. With all seriousness,though… This game, made with the Halo engine, was what should have been big instead of Halo if you ask me. You play as Stubbs, a zombie with nothing better to do but zombify everyone he meets. You get a choice: Bite people to turn them into your zombie follower, posses them with your hand and have them kill other people or just kill them. Your followers automatically attempt to turn everyone they see, so keep that in mind. Stubbs has some cool things he can do. He can take his head off and go bowling, take over people’s minds with his severed hand, throw his organs as grenades or fart to unleash a deadly toxic gas. Cool job, Stubbs, you look pretty Wario!
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I was never really into the shooter scene until recently. I’ve taken notice to the fair number of them coming out of the last two or three years. Yeah, there are a lot of shooters before now, but it just feels like we’re overwhelmed with them, huh? No worries, I’ll give you the low-down on what to get from now and then.

Duke Nukem 3D

If you’ve ever played a Duke Nukem game, you’d know why I’m recommending it. The games are pretty damn good. You play as the lovable Duke, who returns from fighting aliens to find his lovable planet turned into a not so lovable wasteland. You gotta shoot the aliens up, saves the babes, watch the porn, drink the brews. The game has an amazing sense of humor, quoting movies like Dirty Harry and Duke’s phrases. If anything, pick this one up for the laughs. It’s originally on the PC where it has a ton of expansions, and it was on the PS1, N64 and a few other consoles under different names.
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The Nintendo 64 system had its fair share of gems for its time. Everyone knows about Ocarina of Time, Mario 64, and even Goldeneye, probably the only truly successful movie based game. However, there were also games that had a small cult following. Mischief Makers, which was done by Enix in a cooperative effort with Treasure, before the merger occured, has such a following.

The premise in Mischief Makers is relatively simple: the professor has been kidnapped, and as the main character, Ultra-Intergalactic-Cybot G Marina Lightyears, you need to rescue him. However, the story isn’t the main aspect of the game, but rather, the unique gameplay mechanics. Everything centers around three things: Grab, shake, and throw. This is where the charm of Mischief Makers really shines forth.

Just about every single enemy and object can be affected by the three actions listed above, and each has a different effect depending on circumstances. Grabbing an enemy, for example, and shaking him can make him drop health items or currency. After that, you can throw him as a projectile to damage other enemy units.

You with me so far?
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Remember when Rare was a good developer?  Back before Kameo, before Starfox Adventures.  There was a time when Rare was a name you could trust, and seeing their logo on the box was a sign that this would be a very good, and very English game.

Among the last of those titles was Conker’s Bad Fur Day.  If you haven’t played it, you probably dismissed it as a Mature Game for Mature Gamers (such as myself), a game of nothing but tits, blood, cursing and gratuitous violence.  You were half right.

I recently received my old copy of BFD in the mail in a birthday package from my mother.  I was fucking psyched.
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Tingle found himself on the floor. Once again amassed in pile of his own unwashed tights, he woke to find that he was still, in fact, alone. “Kooloo-limpah~,” he murmured as he stared down at his dry, crusted toes. He lazily trekked to the bathroom, knowing he would have to shave the fur from his hands again. “What kind of life is this?” His thoughts wandered as he searched for at least one more disposable razor.

Floating through the air, now having gathered himself, Tingle found more time to ponder his being. “Thirty-five,” he thought, “and what have I to show for it?” The wind blew his bloated self to and fro, wiggling his exposed, filth-ridden belly. “No one buys my maps anymore. They all just stare at me.” Even now he could hear their calls.

“Freak.”

“Maniac.”

“Pervert.”

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