This week I’d like to take a minute to talk about some more HDE’s from my past, however moving a generation over to the 16bit era, instead of the 8bit – and this is just a quickie list only three listings today.

#3 – Robotrek :

Now I’m sure many of you have not played this game, it was one of my favorite RPGs on the SNES (Final Fantasy 2, 7th saga and Super Mario RPG not included because well everything pales in comparison to those) by ENIX. It was this whacky game where you played a boy genius (much akin to Dexter’s Lab) who ends up building these little combat-robots to help fight off a band of evil crooks who are attempting to use science to do criminal things.

The real problem here is it gets a Disney style ending. Everything works out PERFECTLY for everyone. Bad guys are defeated, they manage to escape the exploding core just in time and the reporter gets her ’scoop’, your friends are like “man you are awesome.” the ghosts of your damn ancestors are even like “WTG DOOD.” Seriously.

SCIENCE!

#2 – Actraiser :

Yes much like when I discussed Adventures of Lolo in the last HDE – this is a solid solid game, one that I have wasted countless hours on having an awesome time with it. However it still has an incredibly retarded ending considering how much fun that game was. You were an awesome deity who built cities in a dumbed-down city building game while doing SHUMP-esque combat, then had serious platforming/action levels that were both frustrating and challenging at various points. I know there were a few times I seriously contemplated quitting fighting the last boss of Death Heim and getting destroyed over and over and over. Then? Your reward?

Your little angel cohort shows you all the cities you’ve built and saved over the time with a random little blurb about the citizens of each place, “There was a citizen in fillmore who could tell the future, he totally predicted this.” Wow, awesome, the citizens I’ve had little to no interaction with on an individual basis this whole game suddenly have personalities! Fantastic! Then he gives you a rant about how maybe people are happier when they don’t need “The Master” (you) to guide them and maybe are better off forgetting all about you.

THE END. what

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THE SHIT I’VE GONE THRUOGH FOR YOU JERKS?

#1 – Revolution X :

It was a terrible game to begin with, despite having some of the most laughable concepts in a video game, ever. Seriously. You launch CD’s to fight the NEW ORDER establishment which is KEEPING THE ROCKING TO A MINIMUM lead by a giant cyborg gorilla wearing a biker suit with a pair of uzi’s who rides around on a flying rocket chair. Yeah you read that right. So I’m just gonna let you see. This is your ending. You get told (via text, no dialogue, no pictures) that you stopped the new order and will forever be the hero of the revolution.

Then:

Aerosmith – Dude looks like a lady? More like Game looks like a piece of crap.

yeah Aerosmith shows up and rocks out to Dude looks like a lady, in all of it’s 16bit glory. If you managed to get 100% collection, you get to go BACKSTAGE and see them rock out in a sliding montage of credits. Also it’s not even a full video, it’s animated .gifs of them swaying back and forth. C’mon, really?

Alright alright, I’ll stop, deep breath, it’s okay. Phew, glad that’s over.

Next time we’ll stay with the 16bit era and I’ll discuss some genesis endings that you should definitely avoid. Also – I know I’ll probably get some crap about the whole Robotrek thing, because that’s a typical-ish ending that RPG’s like to use in general. If you want to know the full details, e-mail me and I’ll give you the full scoop on why it’s a Highly Disappointing Ending.

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