Mount & Blade – Puts hair on chests.

I’m thinking of laying siege to my neighbors house. It’s time I expanded, broadened my reach. There’s enough food in the supply store to feed half of Africa and candy to pay the troops. Half of the kids in the nearby surrounding area are already in my employ. My companions are itching for a fight. Or, in the case of the dog, just itching.

I’ll blame the ensuing court ordeal on Mount and Blade.

Mount and Blade is the admirable love child of two developers, a husband and wife team, Armagan and Ipek Yavuz, founders of Turkish Studio Taleworlds. What got it into their heads to develope a Medieval Life Simulator is anyone’s guess but the result is Calradia, a fictional land complete with appropriate fantasy name (something pulled from the hind quarters) and five full factions that are already locked in deadly battle; perfect for the aspiring Mercenary, Backstabbing Lord or Hillbilly Bandit.

After a somewhat decent tutorial and 5-30 minutes spent creating your character – who’s back-story can range from ‘farm boy with fork, will travel’ to ‘Jilted Lady of the Court fighting for Vengeance’ – you’re dumped right in the middle of it. The terrain is empty at first, but as you take your first step towards those cities in the distance, it fills with life!

Bandit life. Expect your first ‘oh-shit’ moments within a few minutes of playing this game as Looters and Vandals of all kinds attack you on your way to your first city and the protection it offers. I hope you put some points in Path Finder.

Mount and Blade is one of those games that you’ll have to learn as you play. You have the option of playing alone your entire career, but anyone looking to be more than a Caravan Guard or Looter Killer (see: Everyone) is going to have to resort to the hints and tips on the loading screen. Prime example, I had no idea that you could give orders to troops until the loading screen told me about the Backspace key. Telling someone that before he gets his prized Knight killed because Charge is the default order would’ve been nice.

Then there’s the graphics too. Let’s not mince words, it’s no Bioshock. They’re a little dated, the textures can blur a little on the lower settings and the clipping in large battles, oh lord, its horrible. In especially large siege battles enemy defending forces start to resemble a large, squirming Siamese monstrosity.

But you know what? They’re small things really. I only mention them as otherwise it’d just be me making love to this game on the net.

The core of combat is intuitive and, dare I say it, fun. They’ve taken a page from Dark Messiah’s combat book, which can only be a good thing, and made attack moves based on facing and mouse movement. Blocking with anything other than a shield requires timing and patience and the speed factor in damage dealing is refreshing. It means even the rustiest axe is a lethal tool of death in the right hands, or a guy on horse back.

Gathering troops makes you feel important and when you finally choose a faction your impact on the world at large can be easily seen by the colour shift on the map. Then, if and when you decide to make a name for yourself, the scramble for towns, funds and recruits can turn the game into a real time sink as you balance feuding lords and your own meager economy with both hands.

It doesn’t have a story arc per-say but I don’t think it needs one. Rising to World Domination, helping one of the displaced enemy kings (and queen) back to their rightful throne or even just helping out your own faction can be an epic undertaking in itself. I can understand those who feel the need for an actual story but those with enough imagination can easily see themselves sucked into a world of their own making, lost amidst the continent of Calradia in a tale where they’re at the center; and in an RPG, isn’t that the whole point?

So, ignore the dated graphics (they don’t look too bad) and the somewhat slapdash production (again, not too bad) and try to enjoy it. You might find it’s one of the few games that have earned a place on that special shelf.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a neighborhood to take over.