The economy isn’t looking to great right now, and we all know what that means – Impending societal collapse, lawlessness, and zombies. As intelligent people who enjoy the finer things in life, it’s up to us to start preparing for the upcoming apocalypse by securing the three things in life that matter the most – Food, protection, and the vidya. If you don’t know where to start, let this pictorial guide give you a few pointers.

First up, food
You can’t play games if you starve to death, so start stockpiling the essentials.  Your first thought might be to load up on nutritious food high in calories, but I’m afraid that you’re terribly mistaken.  What you need, of course, is caffeine.  Lots of it.  Have you ever gone two to three days without it?  The headaches will leave you incapacitated faster than a team of 12 year olds on the final map of Dead Air.  Stock up on Mountain Dew, Red Bull, caffeinated gum, or whatever can supply your daily fix.  Be sure to hide it too.

The essentials.

Next up, self defense

Always remember that other survivors are out to get you and your caffeine.  Because of this, you’ll need to protect yourself.  Don’t bother with projectiles, they’re clumsy and random.  No, you want something simple and elegant:

BONK

I’d recommend one of the tee ball variety, as they’re easy to swing around in one hand.  You might also want to keep a few baseballs on hand as well, as I hear they can stun the bad guys while you move in to apply some concussions.

Finally, and most importantly, you’re going to need some gaming to pass the time.  Unfortunately, you’ll likely be without electricity due to roaming zombie hoards and obligatory nuclear meltdowns, so you’ll be stuck with handhelds.  Get yourself a PSP, DS, or an N-Gage, a library of totally legitimate, non-pirated games, and a solar charger to keep things going.  With enough luck, they’ll be able to keep you entertained until order is restored.

Alternatively, you could buy one RPG from Atlus and have plenty to do for the next decade.  Good luck soldier.