You may have noticed that I haven’t uploaded any blogs lately. I’ll get part 6 of Game balance up soon, I’ve got it written out but I’m just too lazy to copy it to my computer. The main reason why I haven’t done anything is because I moved past week. After the moving itself you have to do a multitude of things: Putting together Ikea wardrobes, hanging lamps from the ceilings, etc. And of course, getting your internet to work. That took quite a while. Sadly.

Another reason is because I just got an Xbox 360. My father had gotten one some time ago, but then he realized he never used it, and gave it to me. Awesome.

However, he’d forgotten to give me the games he had as well. So I had to enjoy my 360 without any games. Luckily, it’s not too hard.
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Gentlemen, the king of the tactical warfare genre (sue me, I made it up. And yes this is the only game in the genre.) has returned. The Total War series from Shogun to Medieval has laid dormant for some time. And now, with an all new fresh lick of paint and many many gameplay additions and changes, Empire Total War is here. With the full release just around the corner (March 3rd, nevar forget etc)  get your tactics on up in the demo.

Packing heat at a whopping 2GB (this is a demo after all..) the two missions included are guaranteed to be beefy with corpses littered atop what was once a perfectly good corn field I’m sure you can’t wait.

For those of you fuddy duddies who are still sitting at home, tin-foil hats firmly upon their heads– the demo only comes in STEAM choo choo flavour, so don’t bother looking because unfortunately gentlemen, you cannot find it.

Look forward to some demo impressions within a couple of days once I’ve had time to explore every nook and cranny and stick my head into every orafice.

A link for the lazy

A few days ago the demo for Yakuza 3 (Ryu Ga Gotoku 3 in Japan) came out on Japanese PSN. By cheating the system I downloaded the Japanese demo due to being a big fan of the Yakuza series. The demo has some flaws.

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The real time strategy (RTS) genre has been popular on the PC for ages now, hell, it’s even a sport. When Halo Wars was first announced you got the general consensus from people that it’s going to fail horribly because it’s an RTS without the use of a keyboard and mouse. However, is that the case? Can it be possible for a genre almost extremely exclusive on the PC to be done well on a console? I went to find out when I downloaded the demo for Halo Wars.

Most people remember the monstrosity of StarCraft 64, I remember renting it for my Nintendo 64, and I remember loving the game for being StarCraft but hating how it was done. If you have never paid StarCraft 64 let me tell you this: Don’t. The consoles are a huge deal in RTS games. StarCraft 64 takes good controls and decides add a nice layer of shit upon it. This isn’t about SC 64 though, so let’s get to Halo.
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Billy: It’s no fair, Portal got a 90 on Metacritic while The Last Remnant only got a 65! It’s just a fucking tech demo! Why are reviewers such sheeple?

Dad: Watch your fucking mouth you little bastard. Just because Portal is a tech demo doesn’t mean it automatically deserves a lower score. And besides, you liked Portal, didn’t you?

Billy: It was ok, I guess. Definitely not as good as The Last Remnant, but worth playing.

Dad: Exactly, the likelihood of a tech demo being not worth playing are highly slim. Even if the story is lacking, the entire game is based around the tech being demo’d. As such, the sheer using of it is fun. You remember Assassin’s creed right?

Billy: Of course I do, stabbing people is so fun in that game, and the free climbing mechanic was the bomb.

Dad: Jesus Christ, what kind of games does your mother let you play? I need to hit her more often. Anyways, Assassin’s creed had a shitty story. So did Portal, so did Mirror’s Edge, so did Psy-ops: The MindGate Conspiracy. But all of their games had cool mechanics worth dicking around with.

Billy: Well, all of those games are based around one thing. That’s so shallow. I’m glad I take money out of mom’s purse, otherwise they wouldn’t be worth buying.

Dad: Well, how else are they supposed to develop the mechanic? It starts simple and becomes more intricate as time goes on. Wait, you take money from your mom’s purse? You ungrateful little prick.

Billy: Just wait dad, before you strangle me, I just have to say, some mechanics would be pretty cool in other games.

Dad: Of course they would be! They don’t make tech demos for fun and let them rot you abortion. You want to see the portal gun in the new Half Life? Or the Mirror’s Edge free climbing mechanics in a Battlefield series? It’s more likely than you think. Especially if they don’t fuck it up. You could turn a good game into a fantastic game!

Billy: Yeah, we might get a Star Wars game where using the force is intuitive and useful as well!

Dad: Did you get into my weed stash? Stop dreaming boy.

Billy: Fine, Fine. I know that will never happen. But what about the price? EA was crying because Mirror’s Edge didn’t sell well.

Dad: Well, the games could stand to be a bit cheaper. All I ever hear is how people WOULD have bought it if it was 20 bucks cheaper. I guess it’s up to the developers to find the sweet spot between production values and gameplay when making these games so as to finally arrive at a price wherein the consumers will eagerly buy the game despite its deficiencies and be able to make a profit. That being said, seeing as you stole mother from your mother, I’m guessing you bought it for full price, Am I correct?

Billy: *gulp* Y-yea, I did haha. Did you want to come play it with me?

Dad: Yes of course, Just let me go find my belt first.

Fin

And the moral of the story is: Don’t buy tech demos until they are cheap. Also, don’t forget to write the company a letter about how great their game is, even though you haven’t bought it yet. They will appreciate the sentiment.