Presenting…

…The Top Five Signs That a DLC Should Have Just Been Free

Brought to you by Fedora Man

Well it finally April and you have to love how easy it is to open an article with the lines “so it’s finally whatever month we’re in right now”. It’s time for the next step in my great journey to earn money through a video game blog. Now I know you might be wondering “I thought you had billions! Were you lying to me?” The answer is of course, no. Stupid. Why would I make something like that up? But the difference between that money and the money I’ll earn on this site is I actually had to do work to earn it, unlike my corporation where I really don’t do any work at all. I can show all my friend “yeah this is the ten dollars I earned THROUGH WORK!” and if they say that they also have a job and have made more money, I’ll pull out my emergency one million dollars that I always keep stashed in my pants and laugh at them, probably while rubbing the money all over myself. (continue reading…)

Lately, I’ve been hearing a lot of bullshit about this generation sucking and people waxing nostalgic about the last gen as the pinnacle of gaming. Let me just say, I’ve been around the block for a long time. I can assure you, this generation isn’t as good as the last generation; Not because this generation sucks, but because it isn’t even over yet. We are only 3/4 years into what will ultimately be an approximately a 10 year generation. Now, I’m going to field a couple of complaints about this generation and tell you why you all suck for complaining.

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It is 2006. Several years of inconsistent announcements, numerous delays and a growing association with Duke Nukem Forever indicates that an actual release of Team Fortress 2 is extremely unlikely. Then from out of the blue Gabe Newell (managing director of Valve) thrusts a teaser trailer into our faces confirming that TF2 is indeed on its way. Sporting a venturesome art style with what appeared to be innovative game play, the new look TF2 quickly soared to the top of many “most anticipated” lists. Launching in October of 2007, it became an instant favourite among reviewers, achieving a plethora of awards alongside its partner in success The Orange Box.

As an avid PC gamer, the desire for a new class based multiplayer game was immense. I desperately needed to escape the grenade spamming insta-prone aids festivity that was Battlefield 2. To my delight, and many other likeminded gamers, TF2 delivered just that. Besides the attractive stylized graphics and often comical game play, it shipped with a secret weapon, one which would inevitably be the key to TF2’s ongoing success and development.

Steam, the popular content delivery service functions as the core of TF2, supplying speedy updates and flawless content delivery. Gamer profiles and statistic pages are accessible through a simple yet faultless social network. Hell, you can even browse the web in-game using the Steam overlay. It is undoubtable TF2 would not be as popular as it is on PC today, if it was not for Steam. This is clear when we examine the unfortunate situation our console brethren currently face, which I’ll touch on a little later.

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While we all like to enjoy games which not only delve into the complex human psyche with a deep and riveting narrative but also lets us play as effeminate girly-boys with zippers, belts and a dark past – it’s also fun to switch your brain off sometimes and just have some fun shooting people. Gears of War 2 gives us the chance to do that and do it beautifully, and it’s a Game of the Year titleholder for that alone – it’s just a shame it’s riddled with tons of multiplayer bugs. But you already know that. Why the long windup, then? Because those godforsaken bugs are finally getting fixed!
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Criterion, the creators behind the Burnout series, have been nothing but awesome so far. Not only did they deliver on their promises for Burnout Paradise on the first go – a massive free-roaming city with hundreds of secrets and thousands of car-wrecking possibilities – but they’ve been spoiling us with free downloadable content that any other game developer would be forcing us to pay through the nose for.  While we’ve been enjoying that, we can’t help but feel guilty about it. Thankfully they’ve given us an opportunity to give back to them what little we could, with the very first purchasable downloadable content pack that they’re busting out, and even then it’s literally a steal.

Presenting: the Burnout Paradise Big Surf Island DLC pack!

What’s the big deal about Big Surf Island, anyway? Well for one, it’s a huge island that connects to Paradise City, and its emphasis is letting you grab the biggest amount of air possible with your car via its ridiculously-awesome jumps. Here’s the statement from Criterion themselves:

Big Surf is the culmination of everything we learned creating Paradise City, and we want it to bring you a truly spectacular new experience – the highlight of a year of incredible premium content. Burnout already delivers incredible value for money – literally hundreds of hours of gameplay with your original disk or PSN purchase, plus more with the free Cagney Pack and free Burnout Paradise Bikes.

Awesome, Criterion. Why can’t other game developers be like you?

A new pack was just slipped into Tuesday’s release: a Foo Fighters triple shot, to complement the entire The Colour and the Shape album released last month.

December 23, 2008 (360/PS3)

Foo Fighters Pack 01 ($5.49 / 440 MSP or $2 / 160 MDP each)

• DOA
• Times Like These
• This Is a Call

Videos after the break.
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My bad for missing last week. It was a country music 5-pack, and between finals and country music being, well, country music, I wasn’t eager to write an in-depth analysis. Feel free to check out the songs’ info on the Master Song List.

December 23, 2008 (360/PS3)

Rockin’ the Holidays 2008 ($3 / 240 MSP or $1 / 80 MSP each)

• Barenaked Ladies – Hanukkah Blessings
• Billy Squier – Christmas is the Time to Say I Love You
• The Pretenders – Blue Christmas

Song info after the break.
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December 9, 2008 (360) / December 11, 2008 (PS3)

No Doubt – The Singles 1992-2003 (album) ($20 / 1600 MSP)

1. Just a Girl
2. It’s My Life
3. Hey Baby
4. Bathwater
5. Sunday Morning
6. Hella Good
7. Underneath It All
8. Excuse Me Mr.
9. Running
10. Spiderwebs
11. Simple Kind of Life
12. Don’t Speak
13. Ex-Girlfriend

Videos, difficulty tiers, and more information after the break.

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Discounted tracks for Thanksgiving! A significant DLC milestone is reached next week, too. Read on to learn more.

December 2, 2008 (360) / December 4, 2008 (PS3)

Singles ($0.99 / 80 MSP each)

• Children of Bodom – Are You Dead Yet?
• Finley – Tutto È Possibile
• Platero y Tú – Hay Poco Rock N Roll
• Squeeze – Tempted
• Tokio Hotel – Ready, Set, Go!
• The All-American Rejects – Real World
• The Naked Brothers Band – Body I Occupy
• The Naked Brothers Band – I Don’t Want To Go To School

Singles (Free)

• Miranda Cosgrove – Headphones On

More info on all of these tracks, and this week’s milestone, after the break.

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Welcome to Gamer Blag!’s weekly DLC reports! I’m pksage, your resident Rock Band know-it-all, and I’ll be giving you news about each week’s downloadable content as Harmonix releases it. Let’s jump right in!

November 25, 2008 (360/PS3)

The Killers Pack 01 ($5.49 / 440 MSP – $2 / 160 MSP each)

• Mr. Brightside
• Smile Like You Mean It
• Spaceman

Yngwie Malmsteen Pack 01 ($5.49 / 440 MSP – $2 / 160 MSP each)

• Red Devil
• Damnation Game
• Caprici di Diablo

Singles ($2 / 160 MSP each)

• Soundgarden – Jesus Christ Pose
• Soundgarden – Pretty Noose
• Lamb of God – Laid to Rest

Detailed song info follows.

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