For those of you that played it, what did you dislike most about Twilight Princess? Was it the bloom and brown that’s run the gamut of every title last year? Was it the completely useless items that muddled the reason as to why anyone would even call it a Legend of Zelda game? Was it the mind-numbing linearity and lack of side-quests outside of collect-a-thons? Or, perhaps, was it the lack of difficulty?

Well, chances are it was all of those things combined, but the whole easy-mode thing probably stuck out the most. There’s a mass of games falling prey to this idea, theory, and concept that games need to be far more accessible to help penetrate the market more. Developers around the world are doing research groups in order to meet the demands of people who will never play their games anyway.
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Tingle found himself on the floor. Once again amassed in pile of his own unwashed tights, he woke to find that he was still, in fact, alone. “Kooloo-limpah~,” he murmured as he stared down at his dry, crusted toes. He lazily trekked to the bathroom, knowing he would have to shave the fur from his hands again. “What kind of life is this?” His thoughts wandered as he searched for at least one more disposable razor.

Floating through the air, now having gathered himself, Tingle found more time to ponder his being. “Thirty-five,” he thought, “and what have I to show for it?” The wind blew his bloated self to and fro, wiggling his exposed, filth-ridden belly. “No one buys my maps anymore. They all just stare at me.” Even now he could hear their calls.

“Freak.”

“Maniac.”

“Pervert.”

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