Billy: It’s no fair, Portal got a 90 on Metacritic while The Last Remnant only got a 65! It’s just a fucking tech demo! Why are reviewers such sheeple?

Dad: Watch your fucking mouth you little bastard. Just because Portal is a tech demo doesn’t mean it automatically deserves a lower score. And besides, you liked Portal, didn’t you?

Billy: It was ok, I guess. Definitely not as good as The Last Remnant, but worth playing.

Dad: Exactly, the likelihood of a tech demo being not worth playing are highly slim. Even if the story is lacking, the entire game is based around the tech being demo’d. As such, the sheer using of it is fun. You remember Assassin’s creed right?

Billy: Of course I do, stabbing people is so fun in that game, and the free climbing mechanic was the bomb.

Dad: Jesus Christ, what kind of games does your mother let you play? I need to hit her more often. Anyways, Assassin’s creed had a shitty story. So did Portal, so did Mirror’s Edge, so did Psy-ops: The MindGate Conspiracy. But all of their games had cool mechanics worth dicking around with.

Billy: Well, all of those games are based around one thing. That’s so shallow. I’m glad I take money out of mom’s purse, otherwise they wouldn’t be worth buying.

Dad: Well, how else are they supposed to develop the mechanic? It starts simple and becomes more intricate as time goes on. Wait, you take money from your mom’s purse? You ungrateful little prick.

Billy: Just wait dad, before you strangle me, I just have to say, some mechanics would be pretty cool in other games.

Dad: Of course they would be! They don’t make tech demos for fun and let them rot you abortion. You want to see the portal gun in the new Half Life? Or the Mirror’s Edge free climbing mechanics in a Battlefield series? It’s more likely than you think. Especially if they don’t fuck it up. You could turn a good game into a fantastic game!

Billy: Yeah, we might get a Star Wars game where using the force is intuitive and useful as well!

Dad: Did you get into my weed stash? Stop dreaming boy.

Billy: Fine, Fine. I know that will never happen. But what about the price? EA was crying because Mirror’s Edge didn’t sell well.

Dad: Well, the games could stand to be a bit cheaper. All I ever hear is how people WOULD have bought it if it was 20 bucks cheaper. I guess it’s up to the developers to find the sweet spot between production values and gameplay when making these games so as to finally arrive at a price wherein the consumers will eagerly buy the game despite its deficiencies and be able to make a profit. That being said, seeing as you stole mother from your mother, I’m guessing you bought it for full price, Am I correct?

Billy: *gulp* Y-yea, I did haha. Did you want to come play it with me?

Dad: Yes of course, Just let me go find my belt first.

Fin

And the moral of the story is: Don’t buy tech demos until they are cheap. Also, don’t forget to write the company a letter about how great their game is, even though you haven’t bought it yet. They will appreciate the sentiment.