Voice acting in video games was once an enthralling, amazing, almost unheardof thing.  It was pretty awesome to hear ‘VALKYRIE SHOT THE FOOD’ come from a Gameboy’s mono speaker.  Yeah, I saw that shit-eating grin, you remember.

As technology grew though, it became more and more common to have soundbytes of your hero screaming and yelling, and eventually games became fully voiced.  There are ups and downs to such things that I won’t discuss here, ’cause that’s best left to an article dedicated thereto.  Here, I wanna discuss Star Fox.

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Before continuing, please watch this. I know it’s hard, but bear with me.

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH AKUMA?

Honestly, that’s just ridiculous. Who approved that? He sounds like an amorous gorilla.

I am not the be all end all of voice acting by any means, but if I had a whole studio and loads of money, I could guarantee that I wouldn’t be so daft as to hire someone who obviously didn’t fit the part. Of course, Akuma, is really just the first on the roster that is completely ruined forever. Thank some ethereal heavenly body that we can switch vocal options based on individual characters.

So, in the regard, I’m going to quickly run down a list of the characters and dictate which language they should be set to. This, I believe, will benefit all mankind.
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Here’s something somewhat different and experimental. What do you get when you take text-based games and add voice acting to them?

Vidya Theatre, of course!

Brought to you and made possible by Gamer Blag.

 

 Vidya Theatre: Ganondorf: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I’ve been waiting for you, boy . . .

Some notes on this:

I apologize if this isn’t how you think he sounds. Even in my own account, I wasn’t pleased with my representation (I think I sound too young). I’d have hired someone else were it a choice, but that’s really not the point of this anyway.

The voice of the King of Hyrule and the little game sounds in the background–which are all taken from the game, itself, and I do not claim to own or sell them–are maybe my favorite parts of this. It’s perhaps a nod to my ineptitude.

I chose this in particular because it was familiar and interesting. This is also what leads to its difficulty. Ganondorf in Wind Waker has a lot of depth–that’s what makes this so interesting–and because of that, it can be very hard to interpret it into a tangible piece such as this. It’s important to note his intentions that are driven by his desire for a better world. He sees the ocean as a wasteland, much like the desert he grew up in. Hyrule isn’t a land to conquer simply for the sake of domination; Ganondorf wants the splendor of Hyrule that he was never able to experience. Although he is still a villian at heart and does tend to take his objectives violently and often by force, he is still more humanized than he has been in the past. This is what makes him such a difficult part, but I like to think I at least touch on that.

If not, then feel free to criticize the performance; I’ll have deserved it.

Hopefully I will perfect these so that they sound less unprofessional and so that there will be more to come.

Also, expect DJ: G Double to return with a new Smooth Talk, Game Talk soon.