I would like…if I may, to take you on a strange journey.

A journey to a land called Xbox Live.

I’ve had my Xbox 360 for nearly four years now, and of those four, three have been spent online through Xbox Live. Those three years were kind of like being on safari, and I know that may seem like a weird analogy, but stick with me. Actually, you know what? Don’t. That was a shitty analogy. Xbox Live is more like an insane asylum. An insane asylum where a few of the inmates are actually rather intelligent, but you can’t hear them over the sound of crazy Joe Bastard yelling like an animal and smashing his lunch tray over his head.

In all honesty, what is it about anonymity that turns a person into a monster? I have never once screamed a racial slur or a homophobic insult toward anyone, let alone over the anonymity of the internet. I have lost count of how many times I’ve just said “fuck it” and simply muted the volume on my headset. Of course, the problem with that is, it renders me unable to communicate with the people who aren’t acting like total morons. Another issue with the voice communication I have is when people have a mic but actively choose not to use it. How am I supposed to know that you’re under attack if you don’t open your mouth and say something? I don’t have eyes in the back of my head for christ’s sake. Teamwork is an essential aspect of a majority of games that are playable online, and when you can’t communicate with your team you had best bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.

I’ll give you a prime example. I was playing Grand Theft Auto IV a few weeks back and I was bored with single player, so I thought I’d see what the multiplayer was like. I’m immediately assaulted by racial slurs and swearing. “The usual” I figure. Then another voice joins in the never ending spew of cursing, my problem this time? This was a kid. He seriously sounded no older than maybe six or seven. The first thought that sprang to mind was “Why is this kid using this kind of language?” My next string of thoughts went something like this: “Where are his parents that he can talk, yell and shout things like this and not get in trouble? For that matter, do his parents even care?” Obviously not as they had purchased him a game which not only portrays murder and violence as socially acceptable, but also depicts acts of a sexual nature and partial nudity.

Now, I realize that I may sound like Jack Thompson Jr. (I assure you, I have no intention of following in those footsteps), but it just irked me that parents these days have slacked off and stopped caring what their children do. When I worked at a video game retailer I made damn sure that any time some kid tried to talk his mom into letting him get an “M” rated title that I told her what was in the game. You’re probably reading this thinking I’m some kind of overly moral goody-goody, but the fact of the matter is this. When I play games online, I expect to interact with people of a similar caliber. I can understand the young kids playing the music games online, but frankly they have no business playing games where the people around them are swearing and using words that would make even George Carlin blush (God rest his smutty soul).

I’ll admit, I swear. I swear like a sailor. The only difference is I do it in the privacy of my own home, or other places where it’s acceptable, and never in the presence of young children. I started using those words in middle school, and I think that if you’re old enough to understand what they mean, and you have a justifiable right to use them, then by all means go ahead. I’m just tired of trying to relax and play some games when I have to deal with kids yelling and screaming and calling everyone a “fag” or a “bitch”. Honestly? I call upon the parents to pay some attention to what their kids are doing and stop being so god damn passive about everything.  It’s time to wake up, take control, and raise your children. When I was a kid, if I had said anything like that my dad would have smacked me one. In a time where everyone is scared by “child abuse” laws and are too damn afraid to discipline their kids you have to remember that if the child does something wrong, they need to be punished and a spanking is perfectly acceptable.

As for all of those that are 18 and older, you have no excuse. Don’t be a douche. Act like you were raised with some semblance of decency and try to treat people with respect. You talk like a normal person, and you’ll find that people will treat you better. Keep talking like a jackass though, and I’ll take the last health pack and leave you for dead.