Why Game Reviews Suck

by Chaz on Dec.03, 2008, under Opinions, Rant

In any sort of entertainment industry, reviews are necessary or the consumers are going to war with no ammo. Without reviews, you basically have to trust the words of the people making the games, and every single one of them is going to say “This is the best game EVER.”

Unfortunately, this is about what we get from game journalists anyway.

This is hardly a fresh new opinion. People have been complaining about integrity in reviews for as long as there have been reviews. As such, there are going to be a lot of points you’ve probably heard before, often, and a lot more eloquently, so I’ll get those out of the way first.

Most gaming websites and magazine are in the semi-unique position of being in the business of criticizing games, while simultaneously asking their makers for money via advertising. It’s hard to take “10/10 game of the CENTURY” seriously when it’s wedged between 2 fullscreen ads for the game and hidden under a pop-up of the main character.

Don’t ask how they crammed 2 fullscreen ads on one screen.

Then, of course, the ever ubiquitous numerical score. Not necessarily bad on their own right, but until someone can tell me the difference between an 8.5 and an 8.8 I really don’t care. Ideally, the stupid things could just be abolished, but for those that simply must discretely quantify their objective opinions, use a smaller scale. Everyone basically uses a 5 point scale anyway.

1-6: Crap
7: Semi-Playable
8: Good
9: Great
10: Peerless

Really, anything under a 5 is an outlier anyway. I’m personally partial to the simple “Buy, rent, or avoid” scale.

That’s what you’ve all heard before, but there are even more deeply rooted problems with reviews that haven’t been driven into the ground yet.

Don’t spend half of your text on summarizing the plot. This one is a big pet peeve of mine. So many reviews read like a high school book report that the author is trying to pad to reach the minimum word requirement. This is especially bad on the internet. If I’m thinking about a game purchase, I’m probably going to read a ton of reviews in rapid succession, I don’t need to know that it’s about a grizzled space marine shooting aliens every single time. Spend some time talking about the game instead.

Let me know who you are and why I should listen to you. Back in the day, Nintendo Power used to have each reviewer rank their favorite genre’s. This was extremely helpful. If someone who liked sports games and shooters said an RPG was boring, you could take it with a grain of salt. A game I spent a lot of time researching recently was Fallout 3. I despised Oblivion and it’s prequel Morrowind, so I didn’t have high hopes for Fallout, but I love the series. For every glowing review I found, I made a point to dig up that reviewers opinion on Oblivion because it let me know what to expect from their opinion in general. This was a lot harder than it should have been.

It turns out I really liked Fallout despite being bored by Bethesda’s previous games.

There is a lot that can be done to improve game reviews, but in this day and age it’s becoming easier and easier to know what to expect from a game simply by the oceans of video and demos and other media that there’s really no excuse to be surprised anymore.

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  1. mulmeltia

    I hate that, when game review sites give this or that game to a reviewer who OBVIOUSLY does not like the genre it’s in. I remember how the 1UP reviewer of Dead Space (or Silent Hill Homecoming, I forget who) literally said in his review about how he doesn’t get horror movies or the appeal of horror games, and then proceeds to trash the game in his review.

    Jesus. Bias much?

  2. Spider-X

    But for crappy reviewers to keep their crappy jobs they have to keep spitting out crappy biased reviews. Remember the Gertsmangate controversy? The sad truth of it is that nobody who gets paid to talk about video games likes video games anymore, or at least it seems that way.

  3. KawaKuro

    bringing to light the well known, however, it’s always been obvious video game journalism is extremely corrupted.

    Concerning games getting 10/10, while being wedged between ads of itself… Well, I always found it hilarious when a game completely flounders, despite fact that they had paid the magazine to advertise for them.

    Unfortunately, this corruption is true, and needs to be watched for when buying games, and the best possible situation would be to have magazine companies form a relationship similar to that of the ESRB to the general game industry.

    Unfortunately yet again, this is impossible,purely due to the fact that these businesses require profit. so.. where does this leave us?

  4. Kintak

    The day I saw Spore getting a score in the 90s in PCGamer was the day I decided to stop reading reviews from big-name magazines and sites.
    You can’t possibly defend Spore. It’s built to be a cash cow, and it’s starting out as broken as one. The most it should get is an 80 for originality.

  5. Goldanas

    You can’t really give games exclusively to the reviewers that like the genre the most. All that really tells you is that a fan of the game likes it, which is redundant.

    The way to solve this is to have multiple people review the title in the same article and then specify what kind of players they are briefly.

    I miss old EGM.

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